Do you have a friend who’s claiming to be absolutely normal? Then you can tell him he’s a normophile.
A guy only interested in following socially accepted and “normal” sexual interests. And if he is only into that, doesn’t sound that like a kink itself?
Today we’re going a little bit into traditional gay fetish culture. Lets start right with one that’s likely one of the most prominent ones.
You probably guessed it, we’re starting with leather guys. And this is a little more complex than you might think 😉
The paraphilia term for being into leather as a material is
Doraphilia
“dora”= skin ; “philia” = love (greek/latin)
Sexuoerotic arousal and fetishistic fondness for the smell and feel of leather.
Doraphilia does not only refer to leather only, but generally material harvested for wear from animals, like animal skin and fur. The latter though is not really popular in the gay community. For most it is a subcategory of clothing fetishism.
I am not going into extreme details for the cultural aspect, as this could fill an entire article by itself, and it also deserves that, at another time. However as for the why people tend to like to wear and be into leather there are a few reasons.
First of all, it’s an extremely useful and practical garment material. It’s been used since ancient times, and before we entered the age of information and rapid scientific discovery, was and still is for many regarded as almost second to none as allrounder material. It’s sturdy yet still flexible. It gives protection from many things, and gives a feeling of safety.
As it’s a organic and skin material, it’s touch and feel is also very special. Many feel more comfortable being in contact with such a material than with others. It’s a biological reaction.
If the touch becomes something fetishistic though, there’s also a term thats used for that. Hyphephilia – sexuoerotic arousal dependent on touching or rubbing a human or non human object, or the feel of skin, hair, leather, fur, or fabrics (like velvet). There’s some interesting things to talk about there too, but we’ll dig deeper into that in another episode.
Since leather’s a material derived from animals, it also gives a feeling of superiority and power. Standing atop of the food chain (though nowadays standing atop of others with enough in the wallet to afford it is more appropriate). And in some cases it also gives a felt connection to the animal, or rather the animalistic nature in oneself.
As for why it’s almost always black that gives the effect? We … honestly don’t know exactly. Historically there is no real cultural reason. Black as clothing colour is viewed differently in many cultures, though nowadays it’s just associated as cool for most. For the gays, there’s also the stem from biker gear, and there likely has something to do with the shine (and easier hiding of any wear/tear maybe?).
There’s also the connection that many have with the classic biker -/& police uniform look.
Uniform fetishism
is whole thing for itself. It exists for pretty much every kind of uniform that exists. The reasons for being into them vary for each, as every one of them is made for and associated with different things. There’s one thing all uniform fetishists have in common though, and thats that they are into what the uniform represents, and often a certain kind of roleplay.
Uniform does not necessarily mean army, police or alike. It can be used for any kind of same clothing that makes you resemble each other and recognizable as something. The word Uniform comes from the latin uniformis –
“uni”= one; “forma” = shape = “having only one form or shape”
and has been taken up by the french in the 1530’s with uniforme as defined “of one form,” which later in the 18th century became the definition for “distinctive clothes worn by one group”.
Many times, if a uniform has established itself in society or also just by a group as a fetish uniform, they do get enhanced to a certain extent. Showing curves and body more, polstery to make it look cooler, etc etc. Many methods are used, with the goal to make it look more sexy to the eyes of the viewer.
Maids/Butlers are a classic example. The sexy waiters. School outfits too. Worker gear. How many times have you seen just right cut construction uniforms in porn 😉 Do you really think every one wears just tank tops there?
There even are uniforms which have been created simply for the sexualized look. Bunny girls/boys.
And there’s so many more examples of what classifies as uniform that you may be into. Footballers (of both kinds) wear a team uniform. Workers of all kinds wear work uniforms for their job, as do businessmen with their suits. Nowadays the nerd look or hipster look can almost be classified as a uniform, as much as they try to look the same 😉 Though not really. And it doesn’t need to be a real, existing for a job uniform. There’s vasts of fictional ones that you can be into. Star wars stormtroopers are a very popular example there. And comic/anime cosplay also shows many many kinds of them.
But enough derivation from the topic. We originally wanted to talk about the classics in gay fetish. The classic police uniform fetish has strong connections with authority, superiority and righteousness. It is therefore no wonder that it often is used in BDSM play where power play is very prominent. It’s been made to look very male-feature enhancing and -rich, which for everyone wanting to wear that and to look very manly, kinda could let one assume he’s very much into
Homeovestism
The arousal of a person by wearing clothing appropriate to their gender.
That typically means you’re very into stereotype male/masculine clothing and representation thereof. And according to a definition made by a female psychologist named Louise J. Kaplan homeovestism is “an impersonation of the idealized phallic parent of the same sex” in order “to overcome shameful and frightening cross-gender identifications”.
That statement was found on the wikipedia page. It was made in 1991. It kinda lets assume people with that are fighting with any part of their femininity. From my own opinion, and from my experiences at Folsom I can say that’s certainly is true in some cases xD some people there do have such complexes. But I would also say it is definitely not true as a reason for many there, simply because I’ve seen some of the people wearing such outfits for finding them hot also wearing dehumanizing, androgynizing and feminizing outfits and enjoying them. In my opinion, at least for more modern generations, and I also bet for many older ones, it is less about the overcoming of cross-gender identifications and more about the exploring and experiencing the many facettes of one’s identity, and how far you can take them all.
Is that still homeovestism then? I honestly don’t know, I’m not a certified psychologist and don’t have enough experience. If you are, I really do wonder though, so please write a comment and enlighten us 🙂
But enough of that. Lets get on. In so many of the pictures you get if you google leatherman you can’t help but notice a very distinctive feature. The cigarre. And with that, of course we have to talk about Smoking Fetishism
Capnotagnia
Arousal from picturing as well as the act of smoking or watching others smoke,
and interaction including of therein used items.
Smoking and cigar play does have many roots, each very dependant on the individual. Some had experiences growing up which developed it, some simply perceive it as something masculine or sexy, and others again simply enjoy the smell for some reason.
No matter which reason, they like to play with it. And that comes in various forms. From simply blowing the smoke in another ones face for enjoyment, to using the ash as a contact mediary, using the cigar as phallic replacment etc. It often is also found to be used in dominance play, as for example grinding a subs face an ashtray one or using a sub as one, or in sadomasochistic cases, burning one’s skin with a cigar/ette. In some cases a cigar is also used as a dildo.
ATTENTION: The mentioned definitions and stories are by no means tutorials or alike. sadosam and affiliates do not take any liabilities or responsibilities from consequences of your engaged in play. Your sex life is your responsibility. A non-professional general recommendation of the magazin for healthy play however is: Skin burns are no joke. Even touching somebody with a cigarette lightly can take days, even weeks in some cases to heal, and often leaves scars. Do not take this play lightly. Additionally, using a cigar as dildo replacements is dangerous. The rectal walls absorb the nicotine in the cigar, which can cause tissue irritation. And if it suddenly slips or gets pulled in by contractions it can leave severe, maybe irreparable internal damage.
Another feature that these pictured people often seem to have in common is their age. They all seem to be bearded men in the middle ages, or, as we call it in our culture, entering daddy age. This is called
Mesophilia
“meso”= intermediate (greek) ; “philia” = love (greek/latin)
Sexual preference for middle-aged adults.
Funny enough, this term only came up in 2016, so fairly recently. Though one could think it’s been around for much longer.
Mesophilia is part of the tree of Chronophilia, whose branches all are definitions of an individual who experiences sexual attraction limited to individuals of particular age ranges / differences.
There is a little bit of confusion amongst psychologists about their definite age ranges in chronophilia branches. Especially in the cases for daddyism. Because in the book “Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices” by Dr. Love, as already often cited in previous episodes of this series, the daddy fetish is mostly referred to as gerontophilia.
Gerontophilia
(on wikipedia) The primary sexual attraction to the elderly.
Whether that is due to the perceived age difference between partners, the age perceived of daddies for one or for whatever reason, I am just going to say both of these terms likely work.
Many of the younger readers here may enjoy either of them in combination of some sort of age and family play, and it is seen as very common.
In many cases it is stated that the younger party searches for an older partner because of those partners experience they can offer. That does not necessarily mean that they are looking for a father figure. Some simply just mean that they enjoy the experience in sexual interactions of the older partner. Others do also like the guidance they can offer as well through their life experiences. That is not necessarily really something fatherly too, more patronizing, though it already goes into that a little, since our most of our culture does not have the concept of the heteronormative ” having own children and teaching them”.
Nontheless, many still also want the father figure, the safety he brings, guidance and want to be formed.
And the older party again does get the feeling of younger life around him, the respect of the younger one, the ability to teach and form, and through the resulting actions of the younger, hopefully pride.
The concept of young and old couple combinations is by far not new. There’s many examples of ancient greece, roman empire and also middle east and elswewhere where it was common and accepted to have such relations, and was seen as mutually beneficial. Although the examples at many times mention younger than nowadays seen as adult participants, that is undoubtedly the case. But yeah, back then it was a different age, with different laws, and people became far less old, and often (had to) grew up and became adults way faster than today. Lives were lived differently. In any case, today we have our society, and I hope you treat the laws of it with respect and have fun inside those laws.
Alright, the concept of different age couples is thousands of years old. It is therefore, I would say very in human nature to form such bonds, and brings things beneficial to them.
For many it’s also fun. As said, there often is a certain age play role play element they like to integrate. The daddy/son roleplay.
The reasons to engage in such play are again, as always various.
Some simply enjoy the imagined breaking of a taboo of family. And others again look for a place or someone to belong to, a family, in such a way.
For some it is something that gives more shape to the father or son guidance-figure they look for, and gives a setting of rules, which many may want in search for stability for their lives.
The play forms range a lot. Some simply leave it at nicknames, other go more into it, with creating more according circumstances. Some also want to really be educated and really formed by their daddy or want to do that with their son. That can go as far as to discipline with the cane or alike when they do wrong. There are actually quite a few similarities to bdsm play and slave education way. That is not really surprising if you think about it. Anyways, some even go as far as to really adopt their son to become a real family.
This actually brings up some history in gay culture. It has been, and is still not that rare for gays to do some in some countries, as it is the only way for them to legally be together, in absence of other options like marriage. Luckily, for many, it is not so necessary anymore, and we can only hope that in time it will become even less.
Alright, we’re at the end of this episode. I hope you enjoyed it, and see you next time. Then we’ll go through some olfactory senses and play terms
