KINKFINITY

Hi Kevin, some days ago you’ve told us in a “my fetish life” interview, that you have been exploring what it means to be the “boy” in a Daddy/boy relationship. So what does it mean?

Hey there MasterMarc. It’s kind of hard to give a clear answer to that question. For me, I’d say it’s all about having a safe outlet to explore my submissive desires, while also being in my particular “boy” headspace. My Daddy has done a wonderful job at guiding me through my own submission journey and helping open me up to things I had previously been very closed off to.

It also means being the submissive partner in a very loving relationship that involves both kink and intimate friendship. Even though I’m definitely my Daddy’s boy, first and foremost we’re close friends. I think that mixture of the Daddy/boy power dynamic and our general affinity for each other is crucial to our relationship. There’s also an element of having an authority figure to look up to and to learn from.

So you’re in need of an authority figure in your life. Latest, as teenager boys start to rebel against authorities. Why do you think that you’re different and that to have someone, who is the boss, is feeling right for you?

I think a part of me is just naturally submissive. Having rules to follow and behavioral or clothing expectations I have to meet appeals to that part of me. Even as a teenager I really wasn’t that rebellious, and I suppose that that has carried over into my early adulthood.

I also grew up in a fairly strict household, so I’m used to having to listen to authority figures. Having someone provide a bit more structure to my life doesn’t feel unnatural at all.

What would you say if someone would assert that you have a father complex?

I’d say that’s very presumptuous. I think it’s foolish to assume that “daddy issues” are the only reason someone would be attracted to a more nurturing, dominant figure. Particularly someone who’s in my stage of life, where there’s a lot of uncertainty about how to navigate what comes next. I think it’s very easy to understand why a submissive guy who’s just about to graduate from university would be attracted to someone who can be both a Dom and a mentor.

Nowadays there are several guys in their late twenties who are calling themself daddy. Can you tell me how important is the difference in age for you? What does it need to be a Daddy?

I think being a Daddy has much more to do with your style of dominance than your age. For example, my Daddy is 35, which is definitely on the younger end of Daddies. I don’t think that that necessarily makes him a better or worse Daddy though.

However, in order to be a high quality Daddy, you need to have a certain level of life and kink experience. I think this can be said for all dominant kink roles actually. In order to get that experience, you need to be actively playing, learning, and living for quite some time. An age gap is important to me for that reason, but it doesn’t need to be massive in order for someone to be a good Daddy.

I would be very cautious of say… a 19 year old “Daddy”. But I think a guy in his late 20s could be a good Daddy, particularly if he’s been in the kink community since he was 18 or so.

So you’re looking for dominance. Is that just a sexual desire, or is it more? Can you tell us, how much heteronomy are you looking for in your life?

It’s primarily a sexual desire. Outside of play time, I do have to follow some rules in my daily life. But they’re all rules that excite me sexually in someway. For example, I don’t have a bedtime because I don’t think having a bedtime would excite me at all. A rule like that would affect my life too much. But, I do have to follow an underwear dress code and that excites me a lot because I like the humiliation aspect of it. And it doesn’t interfere with my life outside of kink.

I love my Daddy having a fair amount of control over my life, but it needs to be unobtrusive and not take away most of my autonomy.

Ah the boy is into humiliation. What is the attraction of it?

Humiliation does a lot to reaffirm the fact that I’m the boy in the relationship, and I think that’s why I like it so much. It’s hard to feel like you’re a man who’s on equal standing with your Daddy when you’re in nothing but a pair of very small tight whities haha. It helps me get into my boy headspace, and it definitely makes our Dad/son dynamic flow more smoothly.

Let us talk a litte more about your humiliation experiences. Can you show us some other examples and also what kind of feelings you get if you’re “suffering” these humiliations?

So most of my humiliation experiences have been intended to make me feel more boyish, and like the Dom is the adult who’s in control. They’ve included things like getting my mouth washed out with soap for cursing, being put in corner time with my pants and underwear around my ankles, and having to write lines after misbehaving. In my daily life, I’m not allowed to use urinals or stand up to piss. That’s been a very humiliating behavioural change I’ve had to make. It’s definitely resulted in me feeling more submissive and like I’m less of a man and more of a boy.

While I’m being humiliated, I tend to feel pretty embarrassed but also aroused. I think that mix of emotions is really hot.

Out of my experience with my boys, actions which are humiliating in the beginning become normal with the time. Is the humiliating aspect of such orders still given even if you have done it several times?

They do become less humiliating over time, yes. I find that that feeling of embarrassment never totally goes away, though. But I think that’s a good thing. I wouldn’t want being told to wear tight whities to feel like I’m just putting on regular underwear, for example. If that was the case, some of the fun of Daddy/boy play would disappear.

You’ve told us before about your boy headspace. Can you describe this head space and what does it change if you are in it?

I know a lot of boys associate their headspaces with a very specific age that they regress back to, but I’ve never really been able to do that. I guess if I had to put an age on mine, I’d say early to mid teens?

For me, my headspace is more about forgetting the outside world and letting down my barriers, so I can more fully inhabit the “boy” role. I definitely become more submissive and more willing to take certain things. I’ve noticed that I can take much harder spankings when I’m in my boy headspace than when I’m out of it. I think it makes me a little bit brattier too haha.

So you wold say that the Dad/boy fetish is always connected with the age play fetish?

I think so, yes. There needs to be a Dad and a boy for one of these scenes after all. I can’t see how you could create that specific dynamic without the sub age regressing in some way. If there’s no age regression, then I think the scene would just be a typical Dom/sub scene.

And I’m defining age regression very loosely here. Even just calling an adult sub “boy” has an age regression element to it.

Let us talk about the importance of punishment for boys like you. How important is pain and punishment for you and does it always need to have a reason for such a treatment?

I think punishment is essential for adult boys. I find that it keeps me on my best behavior and always makes me feel more connected with my Daddy. It also motivates me to be the best boy that I can be, and I think that that’s very important.

I think there always needs to be a reason for an actual disciplinary spanking, but not for other kinds of spanking. I really enjoy fun spankings, and a lot of the play that I get up to is erotic spanking based. There’s definitely a big difference between these more fun spankings and disciplinary spankings, though.

Can you explain us the differences between diciplinary and fun spanking?

I think the main difference is the tone and the reasoning behind the spanking. Disciplinary spankings are meant to correct behavior and prevent future misbehavior. They’re structured to feel more like a punishment, instead of just something the Daddy is doing to the boy because he likes getting spanked. From my experience, there’s also a lot more scolding during a disciplinary spanking and less sexual touching.

Let me make a conclusion of our talk: You love dominance, you like to follow rules, you enjoy humiliation and pain and punishments are important for you. I am quite sure that many of our readers are interested to know, which differences you see between a position of a boy, a puppy and a slave?

Well, I think I should preface my answer by saying that I think those terms can mean very different things to each person who identifies with any of them. I don’t identify with the puppy role or slave role, so I can’t really speak on those topics as if I have firsthand experience.

But, I’d say that the key difference between the three positions is the way that the sub engages with the Dom and vice versa. For example, a slave role would most likely involve more protocol than a boy role. A puppy role would involve different kinds of training from a slave role. I could go on with that list, but I think the differences in play and power dynamics are what make pups, slaves, and boys distinct identity categories. I’d imagine the headspaces are quite different as well, particularly with puppy play since you have to get into the mindset of an animal.