Being a total exhibitionist, it’s one I enjoy immensely!

A “My Fetish Life” interview with Pup Bolt.

Pup Bolt / kinkyalexc Sub, rubber pup 39 6ft 2in / 188cm 61kg London (UK)

sadOsam: How long have you already been living out your kinky side and how did you come to that?

You: Like being gay, I’ve been kinky forever. If you’re lucky, you realize this. If you’re luckier, you can do something about it, so then it only takes time to get to know what you like and what you want. And then the courage to act on it. A lot for me has been connected to the development of kink on the internet and the availability of gear, and the ‘spare’ cash to acquire it. Exploring people and places came next. As I saw more stuff online, my tastes, wants and fantasies developed. So it began with lycra and self-bondage as a teenager, moved on to neoprene, and then on to rubber about ten years ago and pup stuff about four years ago. Who knows what’ll be next?

I started going to events about four years ago, and have taken part in London’s Pride march as a rubber pup for the past few years. I now try to go to as many events as time (and budget) allow, here in the UK and in Europe. Although I’ve come across ‘politics’ and moans a-plenty, I ignore them as best I can. If we don’t support as many events as we can by visiting them, they won’t exist. Then, everyone will really moan. All of this is meant to be fun, and food for the soul. Anyhow, what does a pup care for politics or moaning? Treats or belly rubs on the other hand…

I was utterly terrified before going to my first event. Dark, scary, menacing – and that’s just the punters, let alone the venues that are usually off the beaten track – no pun intended. I soon realized how welcoming and friendly most fellow kinksters are, and that you always have at least one thing in common – kink. You often end up having the same conversations you might have in any bar or pub, like the latest plotline of ‘Game of Thrones’, but just in super-hot gear. Maybe someone is suspending or fisting someone nearby, but I’ve never found that awkward. I’ve seen some pretty freaky stuff. It’s all just an activity, and the juxtaposition and randomness make me smile.

sadOsam: Whats especially important for you there?

You: Actually being able to do it. In private, certainly, and sometimes in public. I’m lucky as I live in London, which has events for pretty much anything. If I don’t get my rubber or kink time, my owner knows I get pretty grumpy and agitated. It’s like going to the gym for me – my mind and body need it. It’s actually a good analogy, as I always know I’ve had a good bondage or pupping-out session if I ache for a day or so after.

But I can honestly say that the best thing about kink (apart from the shiny, tight gear and tighter bondage) is the group of amazing friends I’ve been lucky enough to make over the past four or so years. They know who they are, and they’re across the world, from Italy to the Netherlands, from Germany to the UK, and from Canada to the US. So many very different, fun and fun-loving people! I always look forward to seeing them at events and we keep in touch via social media, Skype and chatrooms. I’m old enough (just) to remember a time when the internet didn’t really exist like that, so this wouldn’t have been possible then. I’m so glad these channels are there now for people coming into kink, whatever their age, as it has allowed people to connect quickly and easily, and realize that they’re not weird and they’re not alone.

In some ways, being kinky could be seen as being another ‘closet’, but it’s one that’s arguably harder to come out of. It’s largely socially acceptable to be openly gay now (obviously apart from in some hardcore religious parts of the world), but it’s still hard to come out as kinky and live that life, at work or even amongst non-kinky good friends. I’m not talking about doing the weekly shop in full rubber (although that sounds fun), but even just wearing a chain collar or pup tag. It takes an enlightened and understanding non-kinky person (muggle?) not to be uncomfortable, or even concerned or critical. And that’s despite the popularity of cultural events such as Pride and 50 Shades of Grey, and the fact that everyone has a kink of some sort – even seeing someone they fancy in underwear. I think it’s changing though, albeit slowly. Younger generations seem split in two, either not caring at all, or else being considerably more puritanical than their elders. Thankfully, the former group appears to be larger and more active and influential.

Having said that, I haven’t really tried and, although it’s the wrong word, that’s my ‘fault’. Although I’m totally out and have been for most of my life, 99% of my/our friends and family don’t know about my kinky life. A few may suspect something and some may not be surprised, but it’s something I feel I don’t need to push at them as kink clearly doesn’t interest or affect them. It could easily be a bit ‘TMI’, and they probably don’t need to know about it. After all, we don’t all share the actuality of our sex lives with all our friends, and facets of kink are inextricably intertwined with that. Non-kink friends might know we like wearing sneakers, say, but we probably wouldn’t volunteer the fact that they actually turn us on.

I guess that’s where kink is different from being gay. If my friends didn’t know I was gay, it might surprise a few of them if I suddenly turned up with a guy, and they’d all rightly be disappointed that I hadn’t told them, but I’m hardly going to turn up for dinner or drinks as Bolt! I really admire those that do, though. It might also make my partner feel uncomfortable, and I don’t want that.

If kink ever came up in conversation with friends, if they shared something, or if I bumped into them at a kink event, that’d be great and I’d be delighted to share if my partner was happy. That happened recently with one work friend and now there’s much hilarity chatting about it and our experiences when we get the chance.

Do I think most of my friends would care if I told them? Probably not, but I know some wouldn’t like it. Do I think people will be able to live openly and publicly kinky in the future – yes, but probably not for a while. Our kind of kink is still a niche and there are also boring and obvious (im)practicalities to be considered. Who knows though, things move so quickly.

sadOsam: Do you have special sexual and fetish preferences?

You: Right now I’d say rubber is my primary kink, followed by bondage and then pup stuff. But they’re usually best in combination. However, it’s all about what I feel like at the time – and what my partner feels like. Just as sexuality and kink often aren’t fixed or known quantities, what I and we want at any given time changes. I work from home quite a lot, so often wear rubber to do that, from a couple of pieces to full coverage. I usually do that at least once a week, and that’s sometimes enough for me. I’m actually typing this in full rubber!

But often I feel I need more, or something else, so maybe I’ll add a collar and restraints. My partner is totally used to coming home to find me in full rubber, working, cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry or just lounging around. Maybe I’d make a perfect rubber houseboy!

I’m incredibly lucky as my partner (who is also my owner, and isn’t in any of these photos) does get involved and, even though he’s certainly not as kinky as me, we do play together a lot. So I may spend a few hours spread-eagled, gagged and blindfolded on a bed being fed poppers, sealed in my sleep sack, locked in my puppy gear, or a few weeks in chastity. Sometimes, I just stick on my Mr S pup mask with whatever I’m wearing, or when I’m lazing in bed, and it comes on holiday a lot. Or else we might just do our own thing, which happens the most.

Being a pup reflects a large part of my core personality. I couldn’t quite put my finger on that pretty large part of me for years and, when I came across pup play, it all fitted together. A few friends say that much of my personality is dog-like, and I can be as much a pup curled up on the sofa with my partner in front of a film, as I can be on all fours wearing full rubber, a tail plug and a hood. It’s not about the gear, it’s about part of who I am. Being a pup allows me to express that important side of my self in a very visual and physically and mentally interactive way that’s enjoyable for us both. It’s also an emotionally close and fun way of expressing the dom/sub side of the multi-faceted relationship I have with my partner.

We don’t live it 100% of the time, by far, as it’s impractical for the lives we choose to lead – there are plenty of other things we love doing and want to do. But my heart throbs when my partner calls me ‘pup’ or ‘puppy’, or gently strokes my nose when we’re shopping, wandering around London, dining out, or relaxing at home.

I’m also lucky to have permission to go and play with others, or go to events on my own from socials in bars to private dungeon parties, but there are simple rules that I would never break. So, no fucking or ‘fluids-in’, for example. He owns my ass! We’ve been together for over 12 years and he always comes first. I always tell him about a visit or event before going, to make sure he’s okay with it, and I also tell him what happened afterwards so everything is out in the open. If he didn’t want me to go somewhere or to visit someone, I wouldn’t go.

I’m a busy pup, so I choose people and events carefully as my spare time is precious. So I’m very careful and choosy about who I visit. I like to get to know someone online, and preferably in person, to build trust before we play. There’s got to be a mutual connection and understanding, and it’s easy to see if that’ll happen or not after a little while.

My day job is incompatible with kink, so I always wear a pup hood at events. It partly helps me get into and maintain headspace, it’s my identity as Bolt, and it also adds an air of mystery which I don’t dislike. People can get over-excited by that – Who IS he?! Prince Harry? A famous actor? –  and that makes me laugh as I’m neither. They’re all far more exciting than the boring truth. Many kink events, and obviously those outdoors in public, can’t or don’t have rules regarding taking photos. I’m a bit of a camera-whore, in case you couldn’t tell, but I don’t like the idea of my face appearing in a photo that goes outside the kink-o-sphere. Once it’s online, you’re powerless.

Although I don’t mean it is a criticism, I don’t understand why many, mainly younger, kinksters post photos of themselves showing their faces, and naked or in sexually explicit positions. Sure, none of it is illegal, but it may compromise or affect choices made in life later on. Now I sound like an old dog!

I don’t know the facts, but I once heard that two super lovely young pups were identified by some total bastard who threatened to mess things up for them in their non-kink lives. They don’t seem to go out on the scene any more, so everybody loses – badly. Of course it shouldn’t be the case, but it actually is. Kink isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and a great many people still – totally wrongly – associate it with negative things. It’s at least 10 years behind gay. If what I’m saying provokes discussion, then that’s good as opening things up isn’t bad. We do need to work towards more acceptance. How? I don’t know, but isn’t it baby steps? Like a good showing at Pride to show that kinks like pup play are non-threatening, all about fun and are here to stay. I was tempted to go to a Hallowe’en ‘Heroes & Villains’ party as American Horror Story’s ‘Rubber Man’ last year, but I couldn’t be bothered with the questions when getting ready that night. Maybe I will this year.

sadOsam: What kind of guys do you like?

You: I’m happily owned, and I love my partner. But nobody minds seeing a slim, tall and toned guy covered in shiny, skintight rubber, do they? Rubber suits a certain body type the best, and the reflections and lines created by that type’s contours are super sexy. It’s a sensuous material. Call me a body fascist if you like, I don’t care. It’s just what I like.

In terms of friends, I’m not bothered by nationality, race or age. Someone in their 20s can be just as great (or shit!) as someone in their 60s. A friendly face, inherent kindness and wittiness, a sense of fun, and being able to hold a wide-ranging conversation that doesn’t focus solely on kink are a must, as is the ability to spell! And please have aspirations. We all have to have aims and dreams, right?

sadOsam: What was your hottest experience until now?

You: I’d add ‘most fun’ to ‘hottest’. For me, being Bolt is also a form of performance, especially in public. And, being a total exhibitionist, it’s one I enjoy immensely – I think that in some ways it’s almost the ‘new drag’. I love positive reactions from the public, like those at Pride when everyone is prepared to expect the unexpected. To cause honest and real laughter and joy makes me happy. If we go clubbing, and I’m Bolt, I’ll often ‘dance’ on all fours. Yes, it is possible. It attracts attention, and maybe I’m making a fool of myself. Do I care? No.

In Berlin, I’ve wondered around Schöneberg (the main gay area) as Bolt many times. There have been a few caustic shouts, and I’m always ultra aware and careful, but most reactions have been positive. Like one very old lady wobbling along on a Zimmer frame who loved my gear, wanted to know if I was warm enough, and asked how much it all cost.

Reactions are different in every country and you need to be aware. When I went home as Bolt on the London underground after Pride a few years ago, I got the typical London commuter’s reaction of no reaction. Everyone just kept reading their papers or phones!

I also had loads of fun doing a photoshoot and short YouTube film for my friends at Recon. It was early on a Friday morning in grey, cold Berlin and I’d only got to bed a few hours before. As we zipped from the Brandenburg Gate to the Reichstag to the Berlin Wall, reactions from Berliners going to work and tourists starting their sightseeing were great. Lots of thumbs-up, waves, smiles, and posing for photos. It’s probably the closest I’ll ever get to feeling what it’s like to be a minor celebrity! So. Much. Fun. Folsom Europe and London Fetish Week are also consistently amazing. I get to catch up with and make new friends, go for walkies, see hot guys in gear and more. I might even get tied up. What’s not to love?

I’ve also had a few embarrassing and bizarre moments, but you have to move on, and hopefully laugh too. Last year I was suspended in rope as a full rubber gimp from the ceiling of a restaurant filled with over 100 kinky diners as part of Fetish Week London. I felt a cold breeze around my arse halfway through as a tiny hole suddenly turned into a huge rip, exposing my butt to all and sundry. The staff were apparently horrified! I guess it was my Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction! My rope master friend span me round so my ass was facing the bar away from the crowd, and gently let me down. Thankfully, main courses had just been served, so very few people noticed. I bowed and sidled off like a crab to change into my spare suit so I could carry on the night. The show must go on!

Last year, we went to the huge Black & Blue party in Montréal. I was the only pup there. Taking a break from dancing, I encountered a young Asian girl who told me that “It didn’t need to be like that”. I had no idea what she meant. It turned out that she actually thought I was a sex slave, and asked me to step away from my partner to assure me I could be freed and live a ‘normal’ life. Ha, who wants normal?! Of course, I went along with it and wound her up gently, grinning inside my hood. Who wouldn’t?! Later that night (well, morning), I had an intense conversation with a hot guy high on god-only-knows-what drugs. I wonder what he thought about his conversation with a rubber dog (complete with tail) when he came round later, if he even remembered…

In terms of ‘hottest’ experiences, apart from those with my partner which I’m not telling you lot about, there have been many. I consider myself lucky to play with the hugely talented London Rope Top and The Puppeteer and, to top it off, they’re incredibly lovely, interesting people too. I go to some private dungeon parties in London, which are always horny, sweaty, subby (and often painful) fun. A couple of sessions with Mr International Rubber 2015 have been more than amazing. When I play and the endorphins are flowing (which they usually are), my body gets super-hot and I sweat loads so, even if you can’t see my cock (for whatever reason, haha), it’s an easy way to see if I’m enjoying things. And I usually am…

sadOsam: Are there things/dreams you want to experience once?

You: Of course! And why stop at once?! Kink is a journey and I think you’re always pushing your boundaries and looking around for new experiences. Right now, I’d love to spend a weekend in full rubber as a gimpy servant, a bondage object, and a rubber dog. All of the above apply across the weekend. After agreeing limits and a rough idea of what we both want out of it before, I’d arrive, let myself in, get changed and then signal for the top when I’m fully geared up. Then I’m obediently his until I leave – he never sees me out of rubber and he has control over everything from movement to speech. It’d be fun to serve drinks and be a rubber dog at a party, and also spend time in tight, inescapable bondage. And to play one-on-one, with predicament bondage and things like electro, etc.

I think the mix, different speeds and interaction are important to keep interest up. Some people want to spend hours and hours locked in a box or something, or to keep a sub like that, and I totally get the thinking behind that. It’s just that a weekend or even a day of that isn’t for me. I think it’d become boring for both parties beyond a few hours – variety is the spice of life.

I’m a great believer in the top getting as much out of play as the sub/gimp/pup, as it always leads to a much more fun and meaningful session that way. Too much rubber and intensity across a weekend? I don’t think so. I’d be just as happy snoozing and chatting, curled up on the floor in front of the telly, if a break was needed.
Otherwise, I’d love to go to some of the huge American events like MIR, MAL, Folsom and Dore Alley. A few of my American friends say that they’re envious of the European and British kink scenes, but the grass is always greener, right? I’m just grateful for what I have and, like any impatient pup, I can’t wait for what happens next.

See Pup Bolt’s Tumblr, follow him on Twitter, view his Recon profile, and contact him via www.pupbolt.com