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When I’m Locked, I Focus On What The Other Likes

Our Reader’s Chastity Experiences

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Sheep | 1990 | 185 cm | 70 kg | The Hague (NL)

My threshold for humiliation and pain among others is also much higher than when I’m not locked. I really love that.

Sheep on Twitter.

sadOsam: Are you a sub/slave/faggot or how would you describe yourself?

Sheep: This is a hard question to answer for me: it depends on the chemistry between the people I am involved with. The short answer would be that I identify myself as a sub, with strong feelings towards being a slave.

A longer answer would be that I have currently only experienced situations in which I was a sub. In those situations, I might be called “slave” during a session, but that’s it. You can’t really call it slavery if you call someone a slave during the session, but completely eliminate the dynamic after the session is over: that kind of control needs to transcend past play into at least some parts of daily life.

I do think I would be very much into getting into a more outspoken master-slave dynamic and see how it works out. I imagine that I could thrive in it quite well, although I also see plenty of difficulties: I can be very open about mundane things, but I’m a very private person as well and value my own time and private thoughts/moments as well (for example, I listen to music for about an hour every day focusing on nothing else but that; it’s a way of dealing with stress, and I get on edge really quickly if I don’t do it); also, I can be stubborn as fuck. And those might not be the ideal combination. I believe strongly that trying is the only way to find out if something is for you, and which aspects of that something speak to you, and which aspects do not. What I do know, is that I love other people taking control in some way that transcends single play sessions: perhaps those ideas can be expanded at some point. ^_^

On the other hand, depending on the connection, I sometimes shift to the dominant side of the spectrum. This is quite a rare occasion though.

sadOsam: What’s your motivation for being in chastity?

Sheep: I have multiple motivations:

I’m hugely into control: giving up access to your own dick to someone else is a mindfuck that I can really get into. If the keyholder is actually into the mindfuck as much as you are, then I’m in heaven.

I like challenging myself. Setting records and breaking them is one part of that. Although one could consider longer term chastity to be a very masochist way of doing just that, it’s one that I enjoy quite much.

Another reason is that I have an extreme energy low after ejaculating. Once I cum, I’m done: I lose focus, play dwindles down, and that is obviously not very beneficial to the partner I’m engaging with at that point. It’s one of the reasons why even before chastity, I tried to delay my orgasms as much as possible; to that extent, chastity makes that part much easier.

sadOsam: How long have you been into chastity?

Sheep: I’ve been into chastity since I was about 16 years old. I’ve started experimenting with it much later. I was in a long term relationship with a guy who was not necessarily dominant, but who hated me touching myself while we were having sex. He always pushed my hands away when I had them near my dick. That relationship ended before we could really experiment with chastity, but it had been on my mind actively since then.

I got my first device in 2015, which was a cheap CB6000 knock off. I seriously got into it at the end of 2016, and have been experimenting actively with it since. That’s also when I ordered the cage I currently wear.

sadOsam: What device do you wear?

Sheep: I wear the BON4M small. I’ve tried some others, but they don’t seem to work for me that well. Also: I like the fact that the metal is heavier than other cages. It makes you aware of it anytime you move around.

sadOsam: Are you locked 24/7?

Sheep: I wish that were the case. During chastity periods, I am usually locked around the clock though.

sadOsam: Do you have a keyholder?

Sheep: Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. I’ve had two keyholders who had me locked for more than a month, and a few on and off for short periods of time. Other times I lock myself for short periods of time. Having a keyholder beats selflocking anytime though. Like I mentioned before, I’m obsessed with control, and giving it up in some ways: chastity with a keyholder who’s as actively into it as you, is the perfect mindfuck of bliss and frustration at the same time. There’s nothing that beats that.

Then again, I currently do not have a fixed keyholder. I’m still looking for an involved and sadistic keyholder who’d like to take me into the long stretches, preferably also outside of the scope of chastity, ofcourse. It’s all about the match though: I’m sure there are many amazing keyholders out there, but if you don’t match, it’s hard to make it work.

sadOsam: What’s the longest you’ve gone locked?

Sheep: I did a chastity month in January with a friend. We actually started around Christmas, and took it a bit into February. It ended up being fifty days, which is still the longest to date. I expected it to be worse for me, but it was actually quite manageable. That is obviously apart from the times where you get really horny and just can’t get rid of the feeling, which is frustrating, but at the same time quite fulfilling. Having a mate in a similar situation helped miles, though!

I’d like to try both Locktober and No-vember this year, with which I’d break my personal record. I’m not sure yet about that though.

sadOsam: Don’t you miss masturbating/cumming while locked up?

Sheep: Of course I do! Which might also be why I always seem to end up unlocking myself at some point of extreme horniness, if the keys are in hand reach. Hence my preference for a keyholder.

The feeling of making someone feel fulfilled just because you are not masturbating/cumming for Him definitely beats the feeling of masturbation/cumming yourself though.

Also, I think being able to masturbate or to cum out of free will is something that should be up to a keyholder/Sir/Master. The way that happens should also be up to them.

sadOsam: How often are you allowed to cum?

Sheep: That depends on the keyholder. With my first keyholder (the first time I spent about a month in chastity), I was not allowed to cum at all. With the keyholder I spent 50 days in chastity with, I recall being allowed to cum in the cage, but that did not happen.

With shorter term keyholders it depends on their wishes. In any longterm lockup, it should definitely be up to the keyholder though.

sadOsam: What were some of the problems you’ve had with chastity devices and how did you solve them?

Sheep: I’ve had some serious pinching issues with a few devices. Also, when I got a knockoff Holy Trainer, I noticed the shaft was too short, which caused the entire device to be pulled forward, which was a very uncomfortable situation.

With the Bon4M, I don’t really have a lot of issues anymore. It’s relatively easy to clean (it took me a while to find out how to properly do it, but once I did, it was not a problem anymore), and I can sleep in it without any issues apart from the occasional midnight erection / attempted morning wood. This used to be very painful, but now I know to quickly apply some cream and it’s done, unless the erection is really powerful. That can get quite uncomfortable. Time and patience solves that problem.

It might be because of the device, or it might be the metal: but it works great! I’d definitely try other devices made of a heavier material.

sadOsam: What are some of the positive effects of chastity you’ve noticed?

Sheep: The first thing I’ve noticed, is that it changed my perspective on having sex. I’m much more involved with the other than with myself. When I’m locked, I focus on what the other likes, and I’ll do my best to give that to him, even if it’s uncomforting for myself (then again, I love a certain amount of discomfort). My threshold for humiliation and pain among others is also much higher than when I’m not locked. I really love that.

I’d like to think that I’m a people-pleaser, so with the right chemistry, I try to do as much as possible to make sure that the other person is happy with whatever dynamic is going on.

Finally, like I mentioned at the start, I don’t cum, so I don’t get the energy low that I would get if I did: I last longer, which is great for my partner as well.

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