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What it means for me to be a slave

Today I’m talking with a young kinky guy from Indonesia, the biggest Muslim country of the world and not really the easiest place to be gay and kinky.

Hi Dewey. I know you’re a little sub with the dream to become a real slave boy but you are not really able to live your kinks the way you want. But with chastity you’ve found a fetish you can also live by yourself. How does it come that you like chastity and what is for you the attraction of it?

Some years ago I discovered chastity in one of the BDSM porn, I was thinking immediately “I don’t know why but this is what I need. And immediately”. So I did some research on it. My thought about it is that chastity is the ultimate form of submission to anyone who’s in charge of you. You give up your freedom to please yourself and instead, you have someone to control it. I couldn’t think something hotter than that. It’s both controlling you physically and mentally, but i always fall into the mental side of it.

Dewey Boi



Chastity is controlling you physically and mentally

When have you realized that you’re into kink?

It was accidental actually. Since I was a child, I’ve always been on the submissive side, mostly because my parents raised me in a very strict way (Asian parents, you know the stereotype LOL). Not to mention the faith we believe in. As a result, I was (and still) afraid to upset anyone, and I have the tendency to please people. After I realized that I was gay, and after I encountered my very first gay porn (thanks to my sister tho) during my adolescent time, I always knew that I wanna be the bottom. Pretty sure that was coming from my upbringing. I spent lots of time watching gay porn, but I always found vanilla sex is boring. So I ventured more deeply and I found some BDSM porn from that really turned me on. All those bondage, leather, whip, etc, (it’s still lingering on my mind tho haha). My feeling was always the same. I was feeling submissive and always wanted to be the sub on that porn. I started my journey on discovering and learning my submissive side more and gathered lots of information from any sources that I could find.

Submissiveness means to be thoughtful, respectful and sensitive at the same time

Tell us a little more about your submissive side. What does it mean to you to be a submissive boy?

That’s a tough question to be honest, as I’m still in the process to figure it out haha. But from what I learned until now, i think being a submissive boy is about is being thoughtful, respectful, and sensitive at the same time. We obey our Owner without forgetting the fact that both sides are human being too. We need to be aware of our surrounding, especially our Owner. So I think it’s nice for submissive boy to have the ability to sense someone’s emotion. Also, being submissive doesn’t mean we don’t have any voice and thought. We have our own limits and breakdown point. That’s why I think it’s important for submissive boy to communicate properly and have some times regularly to exchange both thoughts with their Owner. By that, the bound between submissive boy and his Owner will get stronger. But of course that is just my personal opinion from the POV of a boy who’s never been owned properly haha.

Communication is important, you’re totally right boy. Is this desire to serve and satisfy just a sexual need or do you want to be the slave in all aspects of life for your owner?

Of course if it’s possible I’m going with the second option haha. Being owned and controlled properly in all aspects of my life is a dream of mine. But there’s always still something to be considered of (at least for me). Chemistry between the submissive boy and the Owner will always be the biggest thing to be considered of, as I thought it’s the most important thing. I couldn’t deal with people who I don’t have the connection with, and that also applied to my future Owner. The desire to understand each other with such great respect while will be the key. And I always belive, respect is earned, not given. And also, for me personally (I don’t know if it’s just me or every submissive boy think about this too), I always wanna feel secure, stable, and independent about myself before I make the choice to fully submit myself to my future Owner. I don’t wanna feel troubled with, in my case, my financial and emotion stability when I submit myself. I wanna fully dedicate myself to my future owner without thinking too much about my own personal problems.

Slavery yes but full of respect and love

It is the job of every Master to take care about his propriety. A good Master is not only dominant but also a care taker, and he should love the responsibility he has to carry for himself and his boys. How do you think should a slave like you being treated in daily life? Can you tell us how you imagine a slave’s life?

I completely agree about that statement, and I wish my future Owner will be like that 😊 And about my imagination and how a slave should be to be treated in daily life…I imagine it will be full of respect and love (LOL), because like I said before, it’s gonna be all about being thoughtful, respectful, and sensitive at the same time. It’s a two ways communication between the boy and his Owner, and based on your statement, I believe the Owner will treat his boy with such a big respect, concern, and as boy, I will return them back equally (or even more!). But to be honest, I don’t like to put much expectation on things, including this. I think my daily life will still be same, but of course under protocols that have been set by my Owner. I’ll fully dedicated myself to live under his protocols, because I believe the aim is to make me a better boy than before.

I enjoy humiliation

For most slaves humiliation is part of the treatment they expect from their Master. How do you have it with humiliation and do you think that a Master who respects his slave as slave should also humiliate his boy?

I enjoy the humiliation for sure. I always believe a Master put some thoughts behind humiliation. It’s like one of many ways for a Master to teach his boy about position in the hierarchy. It’s like a reminder for us, so it needs to be done constantly. By keep being humiliated, we are always reminded about the difference between our position, so we could always realize how to put ourselves in His hierarchy. It teaches us about humility and respect, and that’s for sure, will make us a better boy for Him.

Pain and punishment is one big part in the journey of the boy’s growth

Do you think that you’re an inferior? And what kind of humiliation do you like?

Absolutely yeah! I’ve always been that docile and insecure boy from my childhood. I have trouble in finding my own confidence in most situation up until now. But one thing I know is that I have the tendency to please people. I love the feeling of being useful for someone. So, submitting myself to Dom or Master really helps with my insecurity, as I feel confident when I’m submitting myself. At that moment, I feel like my inferiority nature is at least once being useful for someone, if that makes sense to you haha. Actually it’s kinda weird to put “humiliation” and “like” or “enjoy” in the same sentence for me. I think humiliation suppose to make submissive boy feels uncomfortable about certain situation, so I think the boy won’t like it at all haha. But by that, the boy will get something from the humiliation and will avoid, or better, will learn to deal with same situation again, which helps in the progress of the boy’s growth. So I think, If the boy enjoy the humiliation, it means it’s not humiliating for him, and that’s gonna defeat the purpose of humiliation.

I understand that you get confidence by being part of your Master. A good Master is the backbone of his boys, and you’re right that things which for other people are humiliating are becoming normal for a slave in his lifestyle. I think then it is less the humiliation by itself, but the symbol of subordination which becomes the important aspect of it.

You’re coming out of a country in which corporal punishment is also practiced by the authorities. Do you think that pain and punishment should also be part of a slaves life?

Couldn’t agree more with your statement Sir. I think pain and punishment is one big part in the journey of the boy’s growth. They are as important as humiliation for me. They have the same purpose to teach the boy one thing or two, just like humiliation. Both are uncomfortable for sure, but I have to admit that they’re one of the most effective ways to teach and control the boy. Boy is gonna avoid them by learning from them and not trying to not making the same mistakes that might lead to pain and punishment. To be honest, I’m not the biggest fan of pain, but not gonna lie, I always anticipate the time I’m gonna get punished by my Daddy (FYI I do have a keyholder now, but our approach in this relationship is pretty casual and fun. We’re just like fuck buddy, but since the gap of our age is quite huge (and I have Daddy issues as well (LOL), we see it as Daddy and his boy kind of relationship (LOL AGAIN)).

Once, Daddy punished me for being late to our appointment. We supposed to have a threesome with another guy, but I was late and Daddy was done fucking him already. As I got to his place, Daddy was naked on his bed and said nothing at all but ordered me to strip my clothes off and to lay down on his lap. There I spotted his belt next to him already, and as I expected, Daddy spanked me till my butt turned flaming red. It was so intense all I could felt was numbness. My head was literally empty. But after the intense session, Daddy made me sit down on his lap and he hugged me really tight. I was so emotional at that time that tears started to flow and I hugged him back tightly too. I was sobbing when Daddy told me that I was a bad boy for being late, and I need to respect everyone else’s time, not only him. He made me promise to never being late again and to respect time. From that experience, I know Daddy wanted me to be a better person, and pain and punishment prove to be the effective way to teach a boy. I’m really grateful for that experience.

Does a boy have to like everything? And what do you think about the importance of the sexual satisfaction of the slave?

I think it’s not necessary for a boy to like everything. We’re still human and its natural for us to have something we like and something we don’t. I believe a good Owner will respect that as limits for his boy, and won’t do anything beyond that. That’s why communication is important. Both sides will learn about the things that they enjoy and not, and that communication will lead to consent and agreement between the boy and his Owner. But personally, I think it’s always nice for a boy to try something new, at least once. Especially if it’s something that his Owner enjoy. It’s like a process of discovering and learning for the boy. If the boy turned out enjoying it, good for him! If he turned out to not enjoying it, that’s okay. At least he tried it once. But I think the most important thing is that the boy is showing determination to please his Owner, which will please Him to see that His boy is really dedicating himself for Him, and I think that’s beautiful to see how both sides are thinking about each other, but from different perspective.

About the sexual satisfaction of the slave, can I just say that we got it already when we serve our Owner, in any way possible? 🤣 I’m gonna lie if I say that I don’t need one, but that sexual satisfaction is pretty much replaceable (not to mention that I’m locked in chastity for indefinite time 🤣). I think the boy’s greatest pleasure is when they see that their Owner proud and happy with our dedication towards him. Sexual satisfaction is nothing compared to that feeling.

Seems you are this kind of boy who gets satisfaction by satisfying. That’s great boy. Do you think that slaves should also get forced to do things from time to time?

I know it’s gonna be hard to be forced to do something, especially if you don’t put your heart into it. But I believe there’s a purpose behind that, whether it’s for the Owner satisfaction, or for the boy’s growth. I know good Owner will always try to push the boy’s to the edge of his limits for good purposes, but never beyond that. And back again, like I always emphasize before, communication is the key. If the boy think he couldn’t handle it anymore (and he’s not making that excuse), it’s best for him to communicate it with his Owner. I think the good Owner will understand that.

Hey, if you're cruising on KINKFINITY, you probably know I'm the master of this fetish blog. BDSM isn't just sex for me; it's a lifestyle I've embraced for over 25 years. Along the way, I've met some fantastic kinksters—some dropping by my massive 200m2 dungeon for parties, others for days or weeks, and a few as 24/7 long-term slaves. Swing by my Bluesky account for more:

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