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About humiliation, self-esteem and sub pride

Hi Bound Lad. You are into kinks for more than 6 years now and one of them you have been owned and collared. Now you are back one of the free subs enjoying his liberties. Aren’t you missing to have an owner and bing under control and guidance?

It’s nice having some freedom to explore kinks that my owner wasn’t experienced in, but I do miss having a regular Dom to see. That service is something I’m made for. Now that I’m unowned I can be used by anyone, so I’m getting bred all the time and going to fetish parties. My owner had a few boys but I wasn’t allowed to see other guys.

Bound Lad

1997

United Kingdom

Ok, if he tried to isolate you I understand that you love to be an estray. 🙂 As Master I love to share my propiety. Boys like you should feel that they exist to serve men and to be used for their satisfaction. Can you tell us about the sensations and emotions you have if you can serve a Master, what is the attraction of it?

I like having a purpose, and keeping a master happy is a good one. Nothing feels better than making a master happy and being rewarded for it. Even if it takes a lot of work. It’s different to having a boyfriend but it’s still an emotional connection. I suppose I do miss waiting at a masters feet to be used.

How do you like to be rewarded if you have been a good boy?

Being rewarded means getting to cum or to cuddle up after a session. It only happens if I’m good enough.

Seems you really like to be controlled and restricted and you love if you have to earn everything. I like the way you are. Is that just a sexual need or do you want the dominance also in life?

I suppose it applies to all parts of my life. I work in retail and hospitality so that job is always about keeping a customer happy, just like keeping a master happy.There’s a lot more respect and obedience when it comes to the sexual side of things.

That are good boys. 🙂 I know you’re totally into tight things like lycra. Can you tell us about the feelings you get in lycra and about the attraction of seeing others in spandex?

I’ve been working out a lot lately, and there’s something about the way lycra feels. Especially when it gets a bit sweaty. It’s better than being naked, revealing almost everything and leaving a little bit to the imagination.

Being teased and edged through Lycra when I’m tied down feels so good, it’s really intense but not enough to finish. Almost chastity. Something about muscular guys working out in Lycra really turns me on. The thought of a sweaty bulge. It makes me want to drop to my knees and serve.

So you’re just into muscular guys in lycra? 🙂

Haha, no. I don’t really have a type. As long as a guy is slightly taller or bigger and a Dom I’m probably interested. Experience isn’t important but they’ve got to be open to being kinky.

What is dominance for you? What are the characteristcs a Dom should have?

If they believe that they deserve to be waited on and serviced, then they’re a Dom. It’s a man who can control a boy to do whatever he says and look after the boy in return. It’s like a hypnotic power to get what he deserves from a boy.

We have been talking about rewards before. But punishment is also part of a slaves life. You have told me before we started the interview that you’re not into pain. But has a slave to like everything? Even more if it is a punishment?

That’s probably why I’m more sub than slave. I prefer to be turned on while I’m with someone, and pain turns me off straight away. I’ll always take a hard spanking or a slap if I’m making a mistake but I wouldn’t make it a part of a session.

Punishments for me involve orgasm denial, not being allowed to cum, chastity, being put in a cage and made to wait, being used as a footstool etc. My doms usually put me to work and make me think about the mistake so I don’t do it again.

And what do you think about humiliation?

Humiliation is a good way to keep a slave or sub in line to remind them where they belong, below the master. Its a big turn on to be made to do something humiliating and end up enjoying it because of the force behind it. That’s how I got into to foot worship so much, it reminds me of my place.

Which was the most humiliating moment you have had to suffer as a sub/slave and can you tell us about the feelings you have had in this situation?

A few years ago I was invited to a dungeon party as a slave without any information. When I got there I was stripped, shaved, collared and painted gold head to toe. I wasn’t allowed to play in the dungeon so I had to serve champagne to the doms and masters there. They could use me however they want, I spent most of the night licking boots clean and being made to perform with other subs for their pleasure. It was a really fun night but not what I expected. It was humiliating and I was used in lots of different ways but I was very turned on throughout. I wasn’t allowed to get hard so that was tough!

Sounds like an interesting night. Have you never got hard? And if yes how have you been punished?

Oh! Luckily I didn’t get hard, it was a bit humiliating and I was nervous so I wasn’t hard. It was very hot though. If I did get hard they’d probably have spanked me in front of everyone, that was really popular there. I was good and did as I was told so I didn’t need to get punished 🙂

What is the attraction of being naked in front of strangers and knowing that they see you as an inferior?

There’s something about being vulnerable and totally exposed that puts a sub in their place. Like a reminder than they are less than the masters. It also makes it easier for them to use the boys or slaves if there’s nothing in the way.

I prefer being in a jockstrap though, subs shouldn’t be thinking about their own needs so it’s hides their dick and leaves their holes ready for use. As a houseboy I always wear a jockstrap so I’m not distracted and so I can be used by the master or his guests.

That’s the way I like boys. But how do you react if somebody you don’t like starts to touch you?

I would do my job and serve him to impress my master. I’m doing that I’m making my master proud and serving him. I don’t really have a type, so it’s not often there’s somebody I don’t like. As long as they have a dick 🙂

And if you get ordered to satisfy him, to let him use the way he wants?

Then I do as I’m told because he deserves service.

What do you enjoy more, the fact to have sex or the fact to satisfy with your body a top by being used for his pleasure?

I get more turned on by having to serve. If I enjoyed sex more I would probably not bother with kink, it’s time consuming to find good doms. I feel like I was made to satisfy men who are better than me. The best feeling comes from a knowing your master is happy. It’s much more rewarding than just sex and sometimes a good experience satisfying a dom doesn’t always have to involve sex. Those are often better scenarios.

Men who are better than you? How are they? Do you have a problem with your self-esteem?

I think the healthiest way to think about it is to remember that it’s a type of role play. Once the situation ends both people are equal. Subs are really the ones with control in a scenario, with the safe word they’re the ones who can are in control of what happens and kinks and limits usually revolve around their interests, not the doms.

A sub shouldn’t feel bad for being inferior to a dom, it’s their place to serve. Without them a Dom is nothing. I like to think I’m a very confident person in daily life, so it’s a nice change to become a silent passive servant in my free time. Similarly doms are usually very quiet and less confident in daily life.

A big difference between the humiliation in SM and outside the context of BDSM is the motivation the offender has. Outside it is a negative one, people want to hurt you but in SMit is a positive one. They know you like it, even if it don’t look like in the situation, and that’s the reason why they do it. Not to offend but to play with you. Tell us, what is the attraction of feeling inferior, vulnerable and powerless? What does it give to you and why do you don’t want to miss it?

It makes me feel like I have a purpose in life, to serve superior men. Like a job. The pleasure comes from pleasing the master and seeing and hearing him enjoy himself from what I’m doing. It’s rewarding to serve. It’s also a nice change from everyday life, it’s a complete role reversal to become the sub slave type.

Which of the two me’s is living the life which is corresponding more to what you feel inside yourself, the strong guy in daily life or the inferior in dungeons?

I’m at my happiest when I’ve got my face buried deep between a mans thighs. That being said I still enjoy being who I am in daily life. It’s good to have a balance of two very different demeanours because it gives me a break from one or the other. Sometimes I need to be spanked and used, sometimes I want to see my friends. I think it’s this reason that makes me less interested in being a full time slave, as a sub I can choose when to serve depending on how I feel.

Humiliation is something tricky. The situation you are in at the moment can change the intensity of humiliation you feel but also repetitions. If you are used to lick feet and it has become something you do frequently, it has become quite normal, so it looses in intensity of humiliation. Have you also made such experiences and can you give us some examples and tell how the sensations have changed?

Foot worship is really a good example. Once it was humiliating and now I really enjoy it because I’ve accepted where I belong and I’m a better sub because of it. Now it’s basically a reward for me. If a Dom knows their sub really well, they’ll be able to figure out how to humiliate them in new ways. Sometimes it takes pushing limits and leaning into an area where the sub is less comfortable, without every breaking the limits or trust. Denying a sub is a good way to do it, for example if a sub wanted to suck their dom, the Dom could humiliate them by letting them have the dick in their mouth and not being allowed to suck.

Or deepthroating, it was humiliating at first to choke and gag but now I know how much the doms enjoy the feeling so I do too. Also wearing a collar in public, I was nervous and uncomfortable at first. It took some time to be proud of it.

Oh the pride of a slave is also a good topic. How does it change your self-esteem when you feel that the Master is happy with your services and that you have become a good slave?

It’s the best feeling, and it makes all that hard work worth it. If a Dom didn’t show that he was enjoying using me it would loose the connection between a Dom and sub. It’s even better when the master is happy and I get a reward at the end, like cuddles or getting to cum.

Do you think that having a good slave pride because you are a good and useful boy for your Master has an impact to the self-esteem in the life outside the dungeon?

Yes I think a slave needs to be proud of what he’s doing and enjoy his work at all times. Sex and fetish should be about having fun and doing what you enjoy, and the experience is so much better when you’re really into it and excited. As much as the sub needs to look after their Dom, it’s also important than the Dom rewards their sub and looks after them too.

MasterMarc
MasterMarc
Hey, if you're cruising on KINKFINITY, you probably know I'm the master of this fetish blog. BDSM isn't just sex for me; it's a lifestyle I've embraced for over 25 years. Along the way, I've met some fantastic kinksters—some dropping by my massive 200m2 dungeon for parties, others for days or weeks, and a few as 24/7 long-term slaves. Swing by my Bluesky account for more: @mastermarc.bsky.social

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