After having seen this incredible, important speech which has been broadcast live from the royal palace we have to talk with Volka – who produced it – about this exciting experience in a life as her kinky majesty’s subject.
Hi Volka. For a Brit, the family dinner is an important part of Xmas but even more important is the Queen’s speech. This year you’ve been honoured by being invited to produce the Queen’s speech. What was your reaction as you’ve got the message from Kinkyham Palace?
Well, if I’m honest I’ve been waiting for this day for a while now, I mean, it was only natural the queen would get in touch with an even bigger queen for guidance… me. So, I think my first reaction was “about time” and then realising “ah… now I know why she invited me this year… because of 2020”.
So, you think that the only reason to invite you was because it was such a “shit” year?
I mean. No. It can’t be. Right? Then again, I guess it makes sense… for many this year felt like being tied up, bent over a knee and spanked and caned repeatedly while having a dildo the size of three orc fists being rammed inside you. If anyone knows about that, it would be me.
One of the most remarkable Xmas speeches of her kinky majesty was after her anno horribilis in which gimp Charly has divorced from pony player “D” and the dungeon in Windsor was in fire. Why do you think that the 2020 speech is at least as important as this speech was and I’m not talking just about the butt point of view?
Ah yes, every kinkster remembers that Queen’s speech, though the restoration work on the new dungeon in Kinkham palace was fine work especially drawing on Roman architecture. I think this year’s speech was important because with all the shit that happened it was important to remember to laugh. It might sound cliche, but usually what gets us through a hard time is the support of friends, family, a cup of tea, and a good laugh.
Cause of the lockdown many kinksters have had to replace fists by toys, of course in different sizes, and zoom has become the new dungeon. The social interaction, even safe and non-safe, has been reduced to the minimum. What are in your eyes the most important words of the queen which will give us the hope that we’ll get our satisfaction back in the new year?
That is a very good question. I think the words that come to mind are “Well you’re all fucked”. That’s twofold. One – it sounds like a promise of sex at some point, but also, it’s in a way – the acceptance that while we didn’t get fucked the way we wanted, we did get fucked in some way this year. And for that we should be grateful (I’m reaching here, I’m really trying)
You’ve produced the show in her castle and I’m quite sure you’ve been able to have a short insight into her dungeon. Now I have to ask a question all monarchist kinksters need to know – and I think most of us do, knowing the importance of hierarchy in the kink world: What kinks is the queen into? What does she play in her dungeon with her German/Greek pup?
Well, a gentleman never tells any secrets, but I’m a dog not a gentleman so I have no guilt. Then again, I think it’s quite obvious. Lots of whips and chains – the Tower of London is just one big dungeon let’s be honest, tourists during the day, kinky royals at night! She also likes some role play, lots of royalty on servant action (you’ve seen The Crown, right?). Finally, pony play. She has so many guards on horses around the palace it’s painfully obvious.
That sounds that dildos are not really needed in this royal household. Last but not least you’ve spent some time with her. Do you think that she likes you and that she’ll proclaim you as an honourable member of the most noble order of the harness next year?
Yup I think it’s definitely not your average kinky household! Most noble order of the harness… wow, what an honour that would be. I can only imagine my mother watching and crying as I receive it. Tears of joy… of course. I’d like to think that she likes me, but I think a true royal makes you think she likes you, but not too much so that you get another invite to the Royal kinky palace. I guess I’ll have to see what happens next Christmas!
If you want to see more episodes of Volka’s “Shut the Woof up” vlog
so visit our KINK TV site or have a look on his Website.
