Financial Domination (FinDom) has a bad reputation. In many fetishes, something can go wrong. Too much force, too tight bondage, these are dangerous as well. The more extreme, the more difficult to manage, the more care must be taken. FinDom may not be to many people’s taste, but neither is pain, nor ABDL or sissyfication. The fact is a fetish not considered mainstream does not make it less of a kink. In fact, for a good number of people, it is the only type of Dom/sub activities they participate in.
I have been unable to find reliable documentation with verifiable statistics of Financial Domination. I have not been able to find research showing levels of participation, activities, expenses or income. I have discussed with participants on both sides, but this article is based on my observations, not a scientific analysis.
The FinDom Concept
A Dom will regularly take control of some portions of a subs life. They may set a schedule, provide tasks and chores, select clothes. A Dom could extend control to enforcing a budget. In cases of cohabitation, the Dom would exert control over household budgets. From a practical standpoint, the difference is if the two are not in the same building. Where subs give up control, take pain, a financial submissive (CashSlave or PayPig) surrenders actual money to the FinDom as part of the fetish. If the sub were to arrive at the Dom’s place for a day of chores, how different is the time value of the sub when measured against a direct transfer of funds?
The idea of the “Kept Boy” is very similar to FinDom in concept. The Sugar Daddy will provide the Kept Boy with a place to live, clothes, spending money in exchange for sexual favors. Even if the Sugar Daddy is substantively in charge, the Kept Boy is acting as a financial dominant, in that he is taking money like the FinDoms of the internet. The actual dynamic may have either in primary charge, or even as equals, but the financial component is key.
A step closer to FinDom is the onscreen performers, providing sexually-charged content via sites like OnlyFans or Chaturbate. Many performers here take requests, accept gifts, or sell items such as used underwear. It is undeniable that the money component is pivotal to the activity. What is some form of FinDom is seen throughout relationships, be it for exchange of physical or online favors that one partner pays for all dates and activities.
A Dom/sub relationship encompasses one who provides and one who accepts service. When physically close, this can be detailing a car and cleaning a home. When there is physical distance, those opportunities are limited or non-existent. Online submissives will take on tasks or adjust their lives to conform with the wishes of the Dom. This provides a valid response in the Dom. Subs often wish to do more, to create a tangible benefit to the man they serve. Sending gifts creates this benefit, and if someone will accept gifts, why not gift cards or cash? The tangible benefit allows the sub to provide more than entertainment and mental satisfaction. It can be a coffee or it can be covering significant expenses.
In the modern world, a significant number of people pay not only for gaming services, but pay further for the opportunity to purchase virtual items or special access in these games. This is effectively the same as being a CashSlave, the money has left the hands and the benefit is an array of pixels. The same could be said for those who engage in gambling, the money is gone. For anyone not involved, it is an unnecessary expense, funds given away for a particular thrill. In FinDom, the thrill is sexual.
The start of FinDom can be from either side. @SirTonyUK reports that where he had been experimenting with having his in-person subs buy some items for him, one began making weekly tributes. @HadrianTemple was periodically approached to accept tribute and eventually began to explore it as a kink. @mastercmuk began in school, ordering “weaker peers” to give him cash and purchase cigarettes, then when moving into the workforce had one give him £100 a week. CashSlave @erotician67 found FinDom looking for an online replacement for the shrinking rent boy availability. Respondent C2 was lured into FinDom by promises of a physical domination experience later, but is now interested in FinDom exclusively.
For some, FinDom is an extension of Dom/sub. The sub gives money to a Dom as a part of broader service. This could be cash payments, or by taking the Dom shopping. Online subs may add transfers to their service as well. It seems that most CashSlaves are primarily CashSlaves. They may get sessions with a FinDom where they interact, but many send in based on postings on social media. Individual video sessions can be arranged and paid for. In a Twitter poll with 49 respondents, 14.3% said they were CashSlaves only, 22.4% online with a financial component, 30.6% more physical with a financial component, and 32.7% submissive without a financial component.
Feelings through FinDom
@erotician67 describes the feelings as:
It’s definitely high closely linked to arousal and eventually orgasm. Once you have started it becomes compulsive and hard not to do it. The accompanying sexual feelings subside and sometimes are not there. There is a feeling of submission and sometimes feeling of punishing yourself. It’s complicated and all these feelings can be at the same time or a mixture and whilst serving the same person. But compulsion is a big feeling and so is the accompanying adrenalin.
The anticipation they will be able to pay excites CashSlaves, especially if their FinDom restricts payments for whatever reason. Then the transfer, and the feelings after.
FinDoms report they also get erections, have better sex, and experince a great feeling of power, climaxed with the command to send the tribute. Further enjoyment for a FinDom who does not need the money, tributes allow for pure frivolities. The physical and emotional reactions of Doms and sub align with those in non-financial BDSM.
A fake CashSlave can be seen by talking too much, but not sending even a small tribute. Overinflation of income may also happen, with the CashSlave promising more later. Not providing at least a token tribute is another indication FinDoms use to weed out fakes.
FinDoms may cash a paycheck temporarily to show significant tributes, over use the term “fag” or leave the CashSlave feeling bad (triggering a “Regret Cycle”). These indicate a FinDom interested in money, and not establishing a relationship with the CashSlave.
The majority of the social media posts I see include the FinDom claiming rightful ownership of the CashSlave’s money, degrading the CashSlave, stating he must pay for having a small dick, being worthless or inferior. Most FinDoms I have observed will show feet, biceps, chest, sometimes their ass. A high percentage reveal their face. Where a bulge may be shown, actual genitalia is most often not. Some will display dick in private sessions for payment. There are videos of FinDoms where CashSlaves are with FinDoms, licking feet, taking various forms of abuse and paying for the privilege. A significant number (possibly the majority) of FinDoms claim to be straight, imposing a “Fag Tax” of some form on CashSlaves for being gay. Most are fit and attractive, leveraging that to encourage their CashSlaves for contact. The provided concept is the CashSlave should pay to allow the attractive FinDom to lead an easy life. Many CashSlaves feel the FinDom is more worthy of the money, and that providing it is part of the extended allure.
I have been unable to find verifiable documentation on most aspects of FinDom, so based on my observation, the primary method seems to be regular payments or unscheduled payments. Unscheduled or ad hoc payments are those made when the CashSlave has the opportunity and sends either to a FinDom he has a relationship with, or one he finds when looking. Regular payments are an arrangement between the two, when the tribute is sent by appointment, by pay day or week, for example. These routine payments seem to be the main source. I suspect a significant amount is done in special payments, when the CashSlave expends additionally on top of a budgeted amount. FinDoms will also post expenses, such as meals or bills to see which CashSlave will send reimbursement. SirTonyUK relays a story in which he was teaching a higher-income CashSlave budgetary discipline. Diverting a large daily coffee/pastry expense to making at home and sending the cash to his FinDom, who then used the money to take a local submissive to a nice High Tea, sending pictures back. The sub responded very positively to the lesson.
To add excitement, payments can also be made in conjunction with a game. An evident one is the “Retweet Game” in which a CashSlave gives a set amount for every retweet, comment or like to a post. These usually have time limits and can become expensive. Another method is to charge the CashSlave for wanking or some other activity. Other games, such as dice or a spinning wheel can be used. Virtually anything with some level of uncertainty can provide a similar excitement, as seen in gambling.
Both sides use social media, generally Twitter, to connect. Posts of FinDoms looking to attract new CashSlaves, or CashSlaves looking for a new FinDom. Each side may post accounts of their tributes. CashSlaves to show their devotion, FinDoms to show their success. There are websites dedicated to FinDom, where you can go to find the opposite number from pages of possibilities. Some FinDoms have their own webpages to attract CashSlaves, with pictures, blog posts, merchandise (usually underwear), and ways of paying tribute with or without personal attention.
@mastercmuk notes variation in his income per week, peaking at a very significant sum. He used to keep his FinDom a secret, but has revealed how he has this extra income to his family. Some FinDoms report they have no other job, living a life of luxury on money tributed to them. Others report they use the income for pleasure expenses. In a Twitter poll with 78 respondents 50% of FinDoms have a full time job, 17.9% a part time job, 14.1% self employed, and 17.9% do not work. A poll of CashSlaves with 41 respondents 70.7% are employed full time, 2.4% employed part time, 14.6% self employed, and 12.2% not working. One did comment he was retired. Respondent C2 gives up to 30% of his income, but has a paid for home and car.
Findom Dangers and Ethics
There are cases where the CashSlave will provide access to their bank account. Apparently, the most common method is to log into the account and use screen sharing software to allow the FinDom to watch the transfers. The CashSlave may also allow control to pass to the FinDom, so the FinDom can execute transactions himself. This is referred to as “Draining”, as in draining an account. There are reports on social media of CashSlaves making FinDoms authorized users on their bank accounts, allowing the FinDom to withdraw money at any time.
According to social media posts, CashSlaves will announce they gave up control to a FinDom and got more and more excited as the money was sent off. Posts will tell of what they had to give up, how little they have until their next payday. Such actions do lead to a level of abuse, since access may be granted to a computer, this includes blackmail. Compromising information and contacts can be obtained and used to devastating effect.
Real difficulties can occur, even if the tributes are consensual. If too much is sent to a FinDom, the CashSlave may not be able to pay rent or bills. One CashSlave allowed access to his accounts and the FinDom emptied them, leaving the CashSlave destitute. This was after seemingly establishing a trusting relationship over some time. When the CashSlave tweeted this, a number of people in the community, including a number of FinDoms transferred money to him. So support is found in this community. A number of the posters to the drained CashSlave pointed out the duty a FinDom has to his charges.
“You’re no good to any cash master if you have no cash to give, and an ethical FinDom will be sure to take care, not only of your wallet, but of your wellbeing.” [@boyspunky1]
Ethical FinDom is defined by @HadrianTemple as “an approach to financial domination that is grounded in protecting the sub’s financial interests first while still using money as a tool for power exchange and erotic pleasure” Following this model, the FinDom assumes responsibility for being sure the CashSlave does not overextend, but still is able to enjoy the thrill. When accepting a slave into Total Power Exchange (TPE), the Dom takes charge of many things, financial being part of that. In FinDom, the financial responsibility is the focus, not an extension of the dynamic. As any sub submits more and more to a Dom, the Dom needs to exercise increasing caution and look out for the well being of that sub. @boyspunky1 began FinDom under @HadrianTemple and considers it the key to his success in the fetish. Respondent C2 has a FinDom who has not abused long term access to his bank account.
If deciding to enter FinDom, all respondents agreed you need to know when to stop. Giving and receiving. Set a budget. @HadrianTemple suggested it be what you would use for entertainment like movies.
@erotician67 said “Be sustainable – be honest about your budget – this is so crucial – I think many subs, me included, lie about how much we can afford.”
If you want to be a FinDom, you cannot fake being dominant [@mastercmuk].
“If the money is your motivation, you’ll get burnt out and stressed at your second job.” [@SirTonyUK]
Dangers exist in all aspects of the Dom/sub lifestyle. They can range from inconvenience to significant. For particular fetishes such as pain and bondage, a set of generally agreed on rules, such as safe words, have been defined. FinDom has experienced a much higher profile in the internet age, allowing public and distant relationships to form. The very public aspect of this fetish means that when there is abuse, it is not limited to a few people, but can be shown far and wide. The very nature of FinDom with unilateral transfers raises the distaste of observers. The development of Ethical FinDom and growing interactions of Doms and subs in this arena show that where the safeties from other fetishes do not apply in the same way, rules for this fetish are evolving.