KINKFINITY

MasterMarc: Hi Razvan (27). We will talk about fetish guys in Eastern Europe but first I would like to know more about you. When do you have you felt that vanilla isn’t enough and that you have kinky desires and needs and what have been your first steps into the fetish world?

Razvan: I think I’ve always felt my desires weren’t strictly vanilla. When I was at school I was attracted to teachers who were ex-army as well as older boys. I liked their maturity and assertiveness. But it’s only been in the past couple of years that I’ve come to admit that being submissive is a big part of who I am, and that it’s not just about the bedroom, but also beyond that as well. I want a man who can assert his dominance in other areas of life, and who enjoys setting boundaries. So I’ve explored dating men who enjoy seeing me as a pussyboy, and I’m gradually getting better at being honest about who I am and what I feel I need in a relationship.

MasterMarc: Can you tell us, what a pussyboy is in your eyes? Who are you and how should real men treat you?

Razvan: I think a pussyboy is a male who sees himself more as a boy than a man. I’ve always flinched a bit when someone calls me a ‘man’. A pussyboy is a submissive boy who might be a bit feminine. He’s probably physically weak (skinny) and probably hairless — either naturally or because he removes his body hair. He might also be boyishly pretty. But more than all this, it’s something deep in the psyche and I suppose ‘pussyboy’ is just a term available in the English language to describe it. In Russian culture the soft, somewhat feminised, submissive beautiful boy was praised for his spiritual and aesthetic qualities.

Usually he’d be paired with a more masculine, stronger and more dominant older man who can nurture and protect him. The implication is the man will also fuck him and enjoy doing it, whereas the boy won’t be the one fucking. At the same time, the boy serves and honours his man. Personally I don’t mind not jerking off during sex; I’m quite OK with bringing my man to orgasm. My bottom is very sensitive anyway and I love a bearded man brushing my ass cheeks with his manliness. So a real man would love and cherish me as I honour and obey him. For me at least, my devotion is earned by trust.

MasterMarc: Does such a relationship also include humiliation, punishments and should it be a goal to make such a boy addicted and dependant?

Razvan: I think it’s probably dependant on the couple in question. Personally I find I am strongly aroused by verbal humiliation — being told I’m a pussyboy, bumboy, gay boy etc. — and I enjoy being put over a man’s knee and spanked. There are other more subtle forms of power dynamics, such as clothed male / nude male etc. For myself, I don’t want addiction to be glorified or dependency to be fostered in a totalising way. What I mean by that is I seek complementarity rather than an extreme master / slave relationship. Kink is a broad church and there are many different styles of it. I do find myself becoming quickly attached to a man I can feel I want to submit to, and yes, I can tell him ‘I need you’, whereas he might say, ‘I want you’. But these things cater to our own personalities: I will be helping him be the man he wants to be, and he will be helping me be the boy I can and should be.

MasterMarc: You are giving us a little the image, that it is like a man / boy relationship. But it seems also to have important parts of a traditional man / wife relationship, how it has been lived in western countries until the middle of the last century and how it is still tradition in several eastern European and Arab countries.

Razvan: Yes, I suppose a boy / Man relationship does have elements of traditional man / wife dynamics. In Eastern Europe, especially in rural areas — where I was born and where my family are now — the patriarchy is still strong. Women often marry young and get pregnant quickly. In a society where men find few sources of pride (their work is very menial sometimes), then making babies and having a beautiful wife to look after him is a viable alternative. But I am also a feminist and believe women should have an equal chance to ‘make it’ in life. I guess what I’m interested in is going deeper than superficial appearances. I am very attracted to arab men because they seem to me to exude raw masculinity. I love their tanned skin, their dark beards, their muscles and their manly chest and leg hair. They are often very sexual too, and love to fuck. It’s explosive when a sexuality like that comes into contact with one like mine, which is very passive and docile. That seems to set them alight and they want to be a man with me. I think being submissive and being dominant should be seen as something deeper than traditional man / wife dynamics. It can be more creative that way, too.

MasterMarc: Most things which are out of tradition are more creative. But in such societies as we have been talking about a wife could only earn respect if she has children and if she is a good house wife. You haven’t been pregnant yet and you’re not married, Razvan. So for a lot of men in such societies you’re just waste. How can you live with that?

Razvan: Yes, you put it quite bluntly! Seen sociologically, I guess I could be seen to be superfluous to such societies. But fortunately there are other aspects as well. In my experience most Men I have met who are interested in me being their pussyboy want me to have a career as well; they don’t want me to be their houseboy, although I can definitely play being their houseboy ;). I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen when I want to marry a Man and I tell my mother and sisters. Being gay is simply out of most people’s comprehension range in rural Eastern Europe, let alone being a total bottom boy. What I try and do is to be creative in how I understand myself and my potential, and to try and extricate myself from the limitations imposed on men in Eastern Europe. Personally I find it a great help to identify with other passive boys from Eastern Europe, especially those who go into gay porn. Twinks from Eastern Europe are indirectly helping to re-define masculinity and sexuality along national lines, so that to be Russian or to be Czech is no longer to be a muscled pussy breeder, but someone who is soft and pretty and enjoys submitting to a stronger man.

MasterMarc: How can such boys live their own desires and needs at the places they are living? How to find a dom man and how to avoid to get abused and isolated in their villages and families?

Razvan: This is a very difficult question and if I had the heal-all answer I’d be a wealthy boy. I think there is work we as boys can do before we even express our sexuality to others. A great deal of that work involves trying to resist and re-write in our minds how we see ourselves and our potential. It’s almost like a spiritual battle — to create space in ourselves to contemplate our desires and our potential. Then, I suppose you have to be realistic and savvy. For example, if I want to have a career in such and such and my current location doesn’t offer that, then I must do my best to try and find a way out. Obviously not all boys can simply up and leave where they are. But perhaps it’s about being receptive to moments when it’s OK to explore a little further. Certainly you’re right: it’s hard and there are risks involved. When it is in my control though to do something about it, I have to be strong enough to see my ‘natural ties’ in the proper light. Nobody should be enslaved to engrained patterns of existence which are taken to be the only right and proper way. If it’s in our power to resist those and perhaps strike out by ourselves, then it’s a struggle but one which is worth pursuing for the rewards — namely, authenticity.

MasterMarc: How can we encourage such boys to live their own life, to accept their desires and to realize and accept that they are probably not common but also nothing they have to be ashamed of, even if they can’t show it at the place they are living?

Razvan: I’m not sure what the laws are in each country about internet browsing. I think gay porn is banned in Russia, for example. But the internet should be someone’s first port of call. There are inspiring blogs and networks intended to help gay boys in Eastern Europe feel like they’re not alone. I think making full use of these media should be someone’s initial response. There are plenty of Russian boys on Instagram, at least, who are open about their sexuality and resistance to normative ideas about masculinity.

If porn is legal in their country, then exploring this world can also be beneficial, especially Tumblr for those who want to explore kink and fetish. Obviously, if the goal is to meet someone and experiment sexually, then this has to be on a case by case basis and it’d be fairly irresponsible of me to legislate for how someone should behave when I am unware of their circumstances.

I’d also recommend ‘Orthodox and Gay’ for those boys who do not want to feel like they’re compromising their faith by experimenting with their sexuality.

MasterMarc: Do you think that there are more fem and/or submissive guys in Eastern Europe than at other places? And if yes, why?

Razvan: I think if you ask different Eastern Europeans you’ll get different answers. There are skinny twinks all over the world who are a bit effeminate and submissive. But I think Eastern Europeans are often very beautiful, and the boys can be very pretty. My feeling is that Eastern European twinks can be quite obedient, especially towards a dominant man. When you’re pretty, skinny, and don’t feel like the other men where you live (sometimes because you fancy them), then maybe it’s easier to fit into a submissive role as the one getting fucked all the time. American men at least often have a thing for Eastern European boys — they see us as being boyish, beautiful, somehow less repressed, and perhaps quite docile as well.

MasterMarc: You have been fascinated about Arab men. Would you also accept if your partner would decide to have more than one boy as his property?

Razvan: No I wouldn’t like that. It’s not my thing. I remember seeing a man in New York when I was on a research visit there a couple of years ago and I thought I was developing feelings for him. Then I arrived at his one Sunday morning and found him in bed with another boy, and I cried and cried. For me it just shatters my sense of feeling special and loved if my man is fucking another boy as well. I want to feel special and desired by him. In return of course, I would be faithful to my man.

MasterMarc: And what more are you offering to your man? I think he deserves more than just your faith, or not?

Razvan: Of course, but faithfulness is the bedrock. I want to make my man’s life happier and more fulfilled. I want to give him pleasure outside of the bedroom as well as inside it. I want to be someone he is very proud of and happy to be with. Sexually I want him to feel like a man and I’m happy to go to lengths to be the most desirable I can be for him. I try and eat healthily although I am naturally skinny. I get waxed frequently and I look after my skin. I also try to be a boy he wants to spend time with and have conversations with.

MasterMarc: What kinks are you into, how can you be used sexually and what would you say are your limits?

Razvan: Well I like a man to be in charge from the beginning. I REALLY enjoy a running commentary from my man about how he is feeling during sex and what he thinks of me. I moan a lot, even just having my skin touched. I’m all about the psychological dynamics as much as the physical. The more the man is in charge and more powerful the better. I love a man in a business suit, for example ;). My limits are abuse. I don’t want to be an object. I don’t want to be called things which make me less than human. Physically I probably draw the line at WS and fisting, which I know by kink standards isn’t that radical. But as I say, I’m more into the subtle psychological dynamics and how these manifest in the whole of our relationship.

MasterMarc: It was a pleasure to talk with you Razvan and I know we would have still a lot of topics to talk about. I am very happy that we will read more about you and your desires, needs and thoughts soon.