How long have you already been living out your kinky side, and how did you come to that?
Hmmm, that’s a tough question since I’ve been doing it for so long already.
I guess my first experience with anything kinky was, and this is quite embarrassing, during an episode of SpongeBob where Mr Krabs was force-fed peas by two leather daddies or something along those lines. And ever since then that scene somehow made me feel weird.
As I grew up in a digital age with easy access to porn, and extreme porn at that, I quickly discovered my interests in guys being treated roughly by more dominating men. This kept going until I got my first boyfriend at age 15, we met online via tinder, and we hit it off pretty fast. He made me do a ton of things for me to film and send to him. He once even made me visit him by train, plugged with 10 ice cubes in my hole. It was the weirdest experience ever, haha.
Once I hit 18 tho I quickly discovered Recon, and well I can guess we all know how much attention a shy 18-year-old submissive bottom would get. And since then I’ve expanded my social circle with a ton of kinksters and like-minded people.
I do way better when I got a public looking upon me as I’m being used.
Whats especially important for you there?
I think I’ll have to say someone who’s both caring, but also aggressive and mean. I know it sounds contradictory, but a man that can make me feel loved and appreciated as he pile drives a dildo down my throat while calling me names will instantly put me in sub space.
Besides that I need constant attention, and if I don’t get that I’ll do my best to get it from other guys by serving them. I wouldn’t say I’m disloyal, but if I’m not constantly preoccupied with a guy I feel sad and disappointed, because I know there’s so much servicing I can give!
Do you have special sexual and fetish preferences?
Oh totally, I’m a sucker got chastity, hair pulling, being spat on, and being forced to gag on someone’s massive cock. But one of the best feelings must be when someone has their hands around my neck and pushes me up against a wall, it’s so fucking hot and makes me want to please them so much more!!
Hey boy, you haven’t really told me about all your preferences. I know that you’re a little pain pig … or aren’t you, boy?
Oh I am indeed, but in a weird way, I suppose? Not all pain directly turns me on, it has to be delivered with a purpose or someone has to talk me through it.
Also, I do way better when I got a public looking upon me as I’m being used. You might say I am a diva and a showoff and you’d be quite right. I wanna impress and be the best there is, letting down my Dom is the worst kind of feeling there is so pushing my limits is an amazing feeling. If that means my back has to be torn open and my nipples need a week-long aftercare until they’re back in shape, so be it! The pain is a nice reminder of what I’ve been through.
Like how some people love scars for they show how tough someone is, and what they’ve been through. I love leaving a scene or a party looking beaten down with marks covering my chest and back, and rope marks around my legs and wrists, sure not a ton of people will see and it makes being home with my parents a bit of a pain in the ass, but it makes me so much happier when I look in the mirror!
That sounds interesting …. What is the attraction of marks and why do you feel happier when you see them?
They remind me of the times I have experienced, what I have been able to handle and go through on my own power + the support of my Dom. It’s a reminder of the strength I get out of doing all this. With my physique I’ve always been seen as weak and frail, but when I see those marks I know they’re all wrong. I can handle a good beating and won’t run away from it. Or atleast when I am in a safe environment haha.
Also they just look hella good, imagine getting beat up for 20 minutes with a whip and going home with the same pale skin as you did when you entered, that would be so lame. Like going on a sun vacation and not getting a tan haha.
You’ve told us that you like public action. Is that just a diva need, something which makes you feel desired or does it include also a humiliating part?
A bit of both for sure! When I was younger I used to be in mostly male classes, and whenever there was news of a girl joining us everyone would be all weird about it, you know how it is. But in my mind I always went “oh I wish I got that kind off attention like the girls, if only I could be like them “. Ofcourse these days I’m older and know my feelings better, knowing I’m bisexual and Non-binary means I can do whatever and it it gives me attention that’s nice too then! If I do things the way I want to do them I know I’ll get attention, but that’s not the main drive behind them.
And while humiliation is sometimes something I experience, when I’m surrounded by kinkster and I impress them with what I’m able to handle I don’t feel like that all, if anything I feel empowered by their awe or compliments.
How important is humiliation for your kink life?
It has its moments where it adds greatly to it, but sadly haven’t been able to experience it that often yet. But I would love to be able to be guided through it sometime in the near future. For I know deep down, if it’s done well by someone who cares and knows how to handle my emotional state it would make me feel like an even better sub. I wouldn’t want to disappoint a Dom who wants to put me in my place and on the spot. But to answer your question with a clear answer, not that important yet.
Do you love to feel inferior, do you love that people look at you as a guy who is just existing to make others happy? Do you get your satisfaction by giving satisfaction?
Well, my feelings of being inferior are complicated. There are no Dominant people if there weren’t submissive people. For me, it’s like two sides of the same coin kind of thing. Because I take pride in what I do I and know I am able to provide a good service I don’t feel inferior to others. That might also be because I am a bit of a smart ass and think way too rational. Like sure, you might fuck my throat till I’m gagging and tears well in my eyes, but this bad bitch got great friends and people who love them a ton!
But I do love giving satisfaction to others, I’m quite a people-pleaser usually, and doing that sexually or kink wise feels great to me. I’ve been using chastity for a long time now, and it helps me focus on the other greatly. I don’t care for whether I cum or such things, giving a man a great blowjob will make me strain in my cage a lot, but all I take from that is that it’s a physical indicator that my body knows I am made for this!
What kind of guys do you like?
Well I’m not that picky, as any good submissive should be. But I guess someone’s whose confident in himself and not afraid to assert his control over me. Guys who take forever talking their speeches bore me, give me someone who makes me shy by being clear about what he wants and then forces that upon me ?? .
What was your hottest experience yet?
Hard to decide, my first time with an experienced bondage master and sadist he took me to a club where he host several kinky parties every month.
He tied me up in the most public area of the club, and started whipping and flogging my back in front of the “audience” that gathered around to see his new catch. As I hung there being beat he got other cute subs to kiss me to silence my sobs hehe, thinking back on it now makes me strain in my cage.
At another one of those parties I’ve gone to this year I had ended up another one of those predicaments, tied up with several other guys taking turns on my back and stomach, till they were covered in bright red marks and welts. When I reached the verge of breaking out into tears they stopped, which was both a relief and a disappointment.
But a few minutes after that I got hit up by the hottest muscle daddy I had ever laid my eyes on in real life, and he was impressed by what I was able to handle. He quickly took me to the darkroom they got there and made me serve his fat cock. I was laid on a table with my neck over the edge, forced to deep throat his tool. All the while he was tortuting my nipples with his strong hands, I felt as if they were about to be ripped off. He slapped my face anytime even the tiniest bit of teeth grazed his dick, calling me a faggot bitch. And while I usually dislike guys calling me names like that, the way he said it only made me hornier in my cage and more eager to serve him.
After that he took me in a cubicle, made me sit on my knees and eat his ripe ass. It tasted so bad and I felt so degraded being treated like a bitch, he even smothered my face as he farted on me. That was the most humiliating thing that has happened to me so far and it made all the more submissive in the long run. He gave me a break afterwards as I was crying in his arms, he had broken me that night and brought me into subspace like I’ve never been before. Sadly due to that break I was never able to receive his load, and I still long for the day he’ll paint my face with it.
Are there things/dreams you want to experience once?
Oh, I’d love to be fisted some day, I’m busy training my hole to be able to handle such an experience. I’d also really enjoy being blindfolded, put on my knees, and serve as a urinal all night in a bar, not knowing who uses me as their toilet and be forced to drink all their waste, the only thing fit for any good sub.
Speaking of things I’m training for, the past few weeks I have been busy trying to do more public and risky things. From driving to work with my locked nub out, so serving someone in a sauna. It’s not much yet but I’m proud of my progress ?
Sank
1999
Netherlands
