MasterMarc: Hi Matt. You are of the well known pups around New York and New Jersey and part of the year you’re living here in Europe. You’re an organiser of private pup events and one of the real visible pet players on social media. Before we talk about that, who are you and how have you become the kinkster you’re now?
Matt Redding: I think of myself as a regular guy. I am an website programmer and entrepreneur by day and I have a kinky personality the rest of the time.
My earliest memories include confusions over my attraction to other boys. I was young, but still remember all the negative publicity during the AIDS crisis. I remember the portrayal of gay men dressed is leather clothes as being the reason that AIDS was spreading so fast. Something about the men in leather got me excited, but I didn’t know what it was at the time.
Over the years I was fearful to admit my desire for kink clothes, and for years I assumed my desire to wear for sexy underwear and shirts was just an underwear fetish. I now believe it was my kinky side trying to push its way out. In June 2015 I started wearing leather harnesses while DJing in Bordeaux, France. By August 2015 I had my first set of leather puppy gear made for me with the intent that I would wear it only while DJing. I had already been a pup secretly at home with my husband since 2005, but we didn’t know it was a public fetish until I put on a hood in public.
Matt Redding
1970
United States / France
The absolute essential is the headspace. You can’t be a pup without somehow feeling like you are.
MasterMarc: A pup at home with your husband? You have to explain us what do you mean exactly with that?
Matt Redding: I met my husband on Manhunt.com back in October 2004. Within a year he started teasing me that I was very “puppy like” when we would cuddle on the couch. I’m also very expressive with my face and would give him different puppy-dog-type-looks that would make him smile. Some time in 2005 he started calling me “Pup” as my nickname. I have accepted my place ever since.
Being a pup at home was only about playfulness when cuddling. It wasn’t sexual, or lifestyle, or eating out of a bowl. Although I was acting like a silly pup with my husband, I never acted that way in front of friends. Everything changed for us as soon as we discovered that puppy play was a real fetish, that was August 2015. Within just a few weeks we realized that we could take “Pup” a lot further and enjoy it sexually at home while also talking openly about it with friends.
MasterMarc: Hehe. So what would you say are the essentials of pup play?
Matt Redding: The absolute essential is the headspace. You can’t be a pup without somehow feeling like you are. The gear doesn’t matter. I was a silly pup on the couch for 10 years without realizing what I was doing and how far I could take it (into the bedroom). The next essential for someone likes me, who like to go after bones, would be the knee pads. Truthfully though, I didn’t start needing them until I realized that my knees were in a bit of pain. I didn’t understand the idea of “puppy headspace” until several months after I became a public puppy, probably because I didn’t know that the way I felt when acting like a pup had that official designated term. Now I have learned that everyone’s pup experience is different. Some need a collar, some need a hood, some need full gear. For me, it’s about identifying as a pup and using that other identity to help manage the stress I deal with as an entrepreneur.
MasterMarc: Is it difficult to start to live these needs and desires? And do you have any advice hot to discover this fetish?
Matt Redding: I didn’t find it difficult. Quite the opposite, I found it relaxing. The more that I expressed my inner puppy, the more at ease I felt with myself. I was able to manage my work stress level a lot better. I used to spend my extra money buying too many pairs of sexy underwear that I would never get a change to wear or show off; but now I spend that money on gear that I freely show off at gay bars and clubs.
Some guys look at me strange when I have a puppy hood on, but then I flop my ears back and forth and give them a wave of my paw (closed fist) from across the bar as my way of saying hello.
I’m realized that people are discovering this fetish by accident when they see other pups at events or stumble across them online. We pups seem to get questions from strangers all the time. Personally, many strangers are also reaching out to me when they find my very public posts. Everyone tells me I seem very approachable, and I do my best to reply to all direct message questions I get. It’s best to just ask other puppies questions when you see us at other fetish events. Puppy play does overlap with all the other fetishes because you can be a pup while also interested in leather, rubber, neoprene, rope play, bondage, etc.
MasterMarc: That’s right. I’m saying often that Pup Play is a bridge fetish as they are rubber pups, leather pups, sportswear pups, pupslaves, etc. How sexual is the pup fetish in general?
Matt Redding: I entered pup play as my first fetish, and it was very sexual for me right from the beginning. But my pup identity was never tied to the gear I was wearing. I’m more well known for my body art than for the gear I wear. In fact, if I were to put on full leather or full rubber, no one would recognize me. As a pup, with my pup identity, you’ll always see me mostly naked. Although pup play has its original origins stemming from BDSM and slaves, that history is lost to most of today’s younger pups.
What I’ve learned is that the pups under 27 are discovering puppy play through social media and are gravitating to it as a way to escape their life troubles. Life is stressing, and sometimes we just need to platonically romp around in a ball pit like the kids do, or wrestle on the floor with friends, or maybe we need a way to make ourselves feel better when all we want to do it curl up in a ball on the bed. These are all non sexual activities of a pup that help overcome anxiety and other family or social issues.
With regard to sex in the pup community, the 2017 survey report from http://pupplay.info showed us that, worldwide, only 49.8% of pups were interested in sexual activity. Based on my own experience holding my puppy play parties, I will agree that only about half of the attendees get involved with sexual activity. Everyone loves jumping in my ball room, moshing on the floor in the mosh room, and helping with the puppy mummifications. Each party is a little different because I try to introduce different fetish activities, but sex is not guaranteed or forced on anyone. Consent is a huge topic for me and I talk to everyone about it before they arrive and when they enter to door. I remind them all that sexual activity is openly allowed, but don’t expect it until you are sure about consent and it actually happens.
MasterMarc: Consent is the most important in all fetish activities. How sexual are you as pup and what kind of sexual action are you into?
Matt Redding: I view myself as a pretty sexual pup. Every time I put my gear on I’m hoping I’ll end up somehow servicing a bone. I consider myself a power bottom, and I know I’m pretty tight because only the hardest bones ever gain access. I’m also told I have a nice mouth and deep throat and I am able to mostly suppress my gag reflex on larger bones.
I enjoy group action, especially if I can be the center of attention. House parties, saunas, and sex clubs all get me hot for anonymous attention. But I also enjoy one-on-one with guys I know and who are willing to enjoy play time with a puppy.
Sadly, most of the guys I try to meet on Grindr and Scruff are not interested in me as a puppy; they rarely want me to be in any gear. I’ve witnessed other fetish guys who strip fully out of their gear before getting sexual, but if I come to a scene in gear, I expect to stay in the gear the entire time. Asking me to take my hood off will pull me out of the scene and changes how I act, I don’t like that. Only my handler is allowed to ask me to take my hood off without ruining the scene because he and I equity enjoy ourselves as “hoomans” and as “pup and handler.”
I enjoy when my sex partners wear a strong harness because it’s something that I can pull on and use to hold me close to them. I like my own leather harnesses for the same reason, and I’m always hoping a handler will grab it and hold on to me. However, I don’t like to be tied down or restrained when my ass is also prone. On the other hand, I’ll gladly restrain a partner and use them to the extent of our consent. Spanking and pinching are full stop fetishes for me. Unfortunately I have overly sensitive skin so most spanks feel like skin breaking whipping and most pinches feel like needle stabs.
Although some guys equate puppies as sex slaves, I certainly am not. I’ll gladly follow into a scene that I’m interested in and stay until all the bones are satisfied as long as everything remains safe, sane, and consensual.
MasterMarc: Let us talk about your private parties which are a little bigger than the average private party. Can you tell us a little more about it?
Matt Redding: I hold a private “Gear Up, Pup! Party” every month when I’m in the States. The “Gear Up” name is just a coincidence with my current “International Geared Up Pup 2018” title. I chose the name because of the main reason I started holding these parties, but to understand, I have to give you a short backstory.
My first puppy event experience came from The Eagle NYC. There’s a puppy mosh on the 4th Friday of every month where pups are supposed to have fun moshing around on the mats. Except that the moshing rarely happens. Instead, the local pups gather together wearing gear for a few hours of socialization rather than puppy fun. The pup group only has one private hour in the bar before it opens to the public. Every time I’m there I see (and feel) how the normal Eagle crowd doesn’t respect the pups. Non-consented touching and pulling tails happen often.
I really wanted my own safe space to pup out, so I decided to hold my own private puppy party and invite all the local pups. I set up one room in my house with wall to wall exercise mats for moshing, and I converted my spare bedroom from storage into a dedicated ball room with 5000 balls.
I set strict rules to create that safe space, with includes non-discrimination and consent. I tell everyone to “gear up” and try to achieve headspace for as long as they’d like. I allow my attendees to mingle and do anything they’d like. At most I can fit 29 people as long as they are doing different things in different rooms. I currently have 42 regulars that attend whenever they can and the most I’ve had at once was 22.
In addition to the dedicated ball room and mosh area, every party also has mummification. Everyone has the chance to get mummified, or to learn how to do mummifications. I’ve also had candle wax play, rope tying, and sling/bondage at different parties.
Sex is allowed anywhere, if that’s what the attendees want to do, as long as it’s all consensual. I have signs posted with party rules and consent details. I also have signs posted with a local number to call if someone wants to a prescription for PrEP.
As part of the party organization I use Telegram to keep all my attendees connected. In our Telegram group we plan out the next party and talk about fetish fantasies that want to be experimented with.
To my surprise, many of the attendees to my party are shy or suffer from anxiety, which are two traits I didn’t expect from people planning to attend a fetish/sex party. The benefit of the Telegram group is that everyone does get to know one another before arriving, which means most of those shy introductions can be avoided. Having overcome my own shyness and social anxiety, I do my best to get everyone to relax. If the open bar doesn’t get them to relax, then the ball room does. Every puppy loves swimming in room filled 70cm deep with balls!
Although I originally expected the parties to be limited to local pups, most of my attendees are now driving between 2 to 7 hours to come. Between extra beds and the pull out couch I can have up to 9 people sleep over, effectively turning the pup party into a huge slumber party with bacon and eggs served for breakfast.
What started as a simple concept for a safe space party has turned into a regular puppy event that everyone looks forward to. I think I might have stumbled upon a good formula for others to follow when planning their own local parties. I just wish I had a larger house to allow more to sleep over.
MasterMarc: That really sounds amazing and I see that to be a “safe space” seems to be very important for you. Is it still possible to join your party for new pups, if yes, what kind of boys are you interested to have with you and what do they have to do to get an invitation?
Matt Redding: Yes, it is still possible to join my party group. I manage the attendee list in a private Telegram group that I also maintain as a safe online space. All pups of every age, race, gender, and body time are welcomed to the party, as you can see from the group photo.
I feel my criteria for being allowed into the party group is simple. First, I don’t allow lurkers, so you must be honest that you will actually attend a party within the next 5 months. Second, there can’t be a single bone of discrimination in your body. Third, I don’t allow illegal drug users; only cigarettes and poppers are allowed. If you are a frequent or casual user of any illegal drugs (including weed) then I can’t allow you to attend the party. Anyone interested can send me a message on Telegram to my user @djtatmatt.
