Out of control

A talk with porn actor Casper Ellis about total surrender

The Covid situation is really annoying. It brings a loss of part of our social and kink life, which is not really satisfying. This is also the reason why our friend and porn actor Casper Ellis hasn’t visited us for over a year. It is really time to get back to normality so that I don’t have to complain about the loss of kink life and to start to cause a feeling of loss of control for my “guests”.

Hi Casper. Corona has calmed down the porn world, but how is your kink life doing in general during these covid times?

Hi MasterMarc. Well, during this year I’ve had the time for some kink things. It has been a lot more local, though. I would say there are not a lot of things that I have missed in particular but on the other hand where I live the kink scene is very limited, so I’m happy to have had stabile kink activities every month at least.

For a kinkster like you who is also doing porn, how important is the possibility to travel and to meet other kinksters all over?

For porn, it’s most utterly important, since back here there is no industry for that at all, sadly. I have been thinking about retiring from porn for a while, and also reduce my flying drastically due to the climate crisis, so I guess this pandemic has been a Kickstarter for me to adapt to the new world that’s about to come. I’ve been missing travelling to do kinky adventures quite a bit and had trouble actually coming to terms it was not possible this year. But let’s look at the bright side, that next year I will hopefully have a summer going around Europe by train and I’ve got lots of time to plan in.

Yes I hope the vaccine will change the situation and brings us back to normality. Kink is something social and you need other people to have a satisfying fetish life. If we talk about satisfaction … how has kink to be so that you get satisfied?

Very true. The more, the merrier! Good question. I would say control. I can’t say why, but that is one of my biggest turn ONS. 99% might be of losing it, but I can be extremely micromanage dominant from time to time. But losing control in safe circumstances and some gear can really be a real turn on too.

That with the “loss of control” you have to explain us a little more.

Well, losing control for me is about being in a state where you are not capable to do anything and have no idea what’s to come. And by that you can easily connect to a lot of bondage gear.

And what is for you the special attraction of being in this vulnerable situation?

I can not point an exact cause, but I would say the idea of having “no way out” so to say. It can also be that pleasure becomes in a way much more appreciated since it is out of your control. Also, the mix of some pain just to enhance that is also something that really puts me in that mind.

Loss of control = Liberty to enjoy in combination with a “nice” feeling of discomfort

Is it probably the knowledge that you can’t do anything against so that you start to deliver yourself and to focus on the action and not on the possibilities of escape?

Perhaps yes. Since that reflects on the loss of control completely.

Seems that the restrictions become the liberty to enjoy.

Liberty to enjoy yes could be, in the same time it can be to not being able to avoid discomfort in some ways too.

As you aren’t a stupid guy, it is logical to have feelings of discomfort. But I am quite sure that these kinds of feelings are something you like.

It is something I like as a tool to enhance the pleasure. If pain comes in between, the sense of enjoying pleasure becomes better. Like, enjoying a sunny day after a few rainy days is sensible (though not in the desert). Pain can sometimes be something that turns me on in the situation. Mostly because of the previously mentioned reasons of control. Also, to as some sort of humiliation kink, I guess I have too.

Trust is needed to feel safe

About pain and humiliation, we’ve to talk a little later. But first, I would like to talk a little more about the “safe circumstances” you’ve mentioned before. What has to be given to you to feel safe?

Well, basically mostly that you trust the person you let in, and also that you trust the boundaries that were set on beforehand. Limits and such.

Now you’ve really to tell us about the experience in which you’ve had the most extreme feeling of being out of control.

Hard to say overall since there are a few times. The most recent that comes to mind is when I was tied in a sling. Covered by a rubber hood and earplugs and gag. While lying there, I noticed more and more hands touching me. I did not know before that there was more than one person in the room. And they took turns fucking me for a while. I was so turned on by that.

Hehe. Groups, even more as surprise, are always a turn on. But I’m quite sure you’ve had also harder experiences. Let us peep through the keyhole to your dungeon experiences.

Yeah, for sure. There have been a lot of dungeon experiences of that sort. Long term bondage for example has been something that really comes to mind. Like I have been sleeping tied with a hood for a whole night sometimes. Either in a cage or on a fuck bench or in a sling. Not knowing when to come down and to be used during longer periods is always something that makes me feel more out of control. Cause even if I wanted it to end, I can do nothing about it.

The time factor

Time is an important factor if people are looking for the feeling of being totally delivered. If you know that in an hour everything will end, then you’ve like an inner countdown running and your head is permanently thinking about the release. In long term sessions or even more in long term slavery you don’t think about the future, and you are just living at the moment. What was your longest time-serving as slave?

You could say that. Not knowing when to be released usually makes me want to put that thought out of my head. The longest period in “slavery” is something around 48 hours. Not that long I know, but I haven’t really had the time for any longer or maybe dared to. That was a long time ago, and it was a night of a lot of bondage and torture and a few other things. After a while of playing, I got in a sleep sack and slept in it and a leather hood for the night. During the day I was locked in with chains on me and no clothes. When the Dom came back home, I was told before to put on a blindfold and a gag and wait on my knees’ till he arrived. The following night I spend a lot of time in a cage or bound in some other way being electrified and whipped followed by fucked, edged and milked.

The pain factor

Sounds like a good experience to build on and to extend. Pain can also cause the feeling of total surrender as it is not only painful but also exhausting. Exhaustion is after time also an important factor to provoke the feeling of total loss of control. What kind of experiences do you have with?

Mhhmn, can’t be so sure I’ve got to that point of exhaustion, actually. Not in that sense. If it’s too much pain to provoke exhaustion. I would first have to go through pain then agony, the anger and frustration and after that I would continue on that track I think. In other terms exhaustion’s for me when I’m fisted or fucked quite hard, not being able to resist I eventually would give in due to exhaustion.

Would you like to reach the point of exhaustion? And can you tell us about your pain experiences?

Maybe. Loosing strength to resist I’ve experienced in many different ways. My pain experiences have been a lot from former days, and I could say I have probably been exposed to almost all gears that are meant to inflict pain. Nowadays, I’m not really doing a lot of that, but it’s something can be okay if it is balanced and wouldn’t mind doing some more of that from time to time.

The humiliation factor

Humiliation is still a topic we have to talk about. What is the attraction of humiliation?

The attraction of humiliation is a complicated one. One of the reasons would be the exposure of yourself and accepting myself as the submissive in that way. Humiliation and degradation is something that I fantasize about and the hierarchy that reflects in those situations really empowers the state of being in control or being an owned slave, gimp or something like that.

What have been your best humiliating experiences?

Once when I was 18 I went to an SM club. I remember I was forced to say my name was slave. I had to walk around naked and as soon as the Dom I was there with had to go away for a while, he gave the leash to my collar to a friend and ordered me to wait on all fours. I was very young and wasn’t really comfortable with that sort of thing yet, and I guess that is one of the main reason that is one of the most humiliating times. I was whipped that night on a cross for a while, and after that I’ve been on that cross afterwards for a bigger crowd. But I was soon okay with the crowd and all, and as for today, humiliation goes without saying in the kink sessions I do.

Humiliation is something very situational. I think if we would do the same things now, it would be totally different. Part of the humiliating feeling volatilize with experience.

Yes, I can agree. I remembered the first time I was forced to drink pee. I was really anxious and had the piss hoodie on me, so it was mandatory anyway, and I felt so humiliated. Today as someone more comfortable with that I wouldn’t resist but maybe the opposite offer to drink it. So the part where I’m humiliated is a different feeling of pleasing or a fun game more than a taboo or something that I fear in that sense. I now own it, other words.

What kind of humiliating action remains humiliating for you even with the mass of experience you have now?

Well all humiliation acts are still humiliating but more in fun way. But the one I still feel a bit pushed out of my safety zone is when it is public, in terms of certain things I have to wear casually in my daily life, or a situation where I would be forced to do something that is frowned upon. The other things that mostly counts in the bdsm arena, I would say it’s just a mental turn on nowadays which I still enjoy.

Is the exposure you get as a porn actor, this loss of control of the sexual intimacy also kind of humiliation you like?

I wouldn’t say porn as the main cause of that, since porn is porn. While doing something in private, publicly to make my loss controlling the intimacy is definitely something I like. Taking photos without my knowledge or having a crowd which I can’t see nor hear.

I’m quite sure you still have some “out of control” fantasies you would like to realize in the future. Can you share them with us?

Something I like to do more and experience more of I guess is the scenario of being gimped up in public, and used in different ways for longer periods of time. Maybe something like being muzzled and blindfolded, strictly bound or in a straightjacket in a room with a lot of men who wants to fist me open, milk or edge me, whip me or stretch my ball or anything they like. I also had fantasies of being like a game night where they test different things on me like in a game. Could be who can fist me deepest. At the same time being gagged so that my mouth is full, but I would still be able to drink pee as urinal through it. Being a party object just for Doms to do whatever they like with.