Fetish and SM are for us kinksters a real lust enhancer. Yes, it is an intensification of horniness for some in sex and others even in their lifestyle, which does make the ”normal” program for many of us almost boring. Luckily there is still the “head cinema”, which if the fetish isn’t lived, at least pumps up the sexual life in your thoughts. Especially in times of social distancing this is for many a form which lets them at least feel fetish when it can’t be lived.
What for the one is lust enhancing though, for the other may be hard to get. Even for us kinksters it is difficult to “classify” a fetish we don’t have. Often we don’t even understand the ones we do have really. We just find it hot, it turns us on, but the why of it eludes us, or is hard to turn into words. Often we are asked with exactly that question though, “Why do you find this hot?”. And it brings us to think and philosophize about it, but in the end, a lot of times the only real answer we can give is that we can’t really explain it, and it just is how it is.
My answer if they wonder about it then often is that I also can’t explain why I am gay. It just is like that. There are just boys (and girls) who like to sniff dirty socks, sweat in rubber, crawl around like a dog on all fours and wag with their dog tails, put on the second skin of a leather outfit, get tied and become unable to move over periods of time, feel pain, give pain, lick feet, suck on a pacifier and get into diapers, and show of their curvature in dessous… this list could go on forever, as you know from our pages, because our world is varied and colourful.
Yes, that’s just how it is. And it’s goddamn cool and hot, and the question why honestly is stupid… at least I can’t answer it.
Mostly we are just faced in our day by day with our fetishes or the preferences of our partner, which I assume mostly shares them with us. Because the real important credo in the world of fetish is that consent the A and O of our horny game. We only do things the other involved party likes too. I am talking about the real consent here though, and not the excuse you often hear from pedophiles and rapists.
our needs and inclinations may look a little weird to others.
Yes, our needs and inclinations may look a little weird to others, sometimes even to ourselves, but we live them with our partners, which also share them or have interest in them, and it should NEVER be to the harm of the one or the other, or to uninvolved. As long as that is kept true, there is nothing with it.
In the neverending list of fetishes, there are some which are easier to comprehend than others, even if you don’t have them. So are for example all clothing fetishes easier to explain, as others, even the “normal” people, can relate to it a bit, as everyone has a fashion style and preference etc. Fetishes like sportsgear, suits, skater clothes, sneakers etc are comprehensible. Why someone would sniff on one of the sports sneakers again however, may already be more difficult to explain.
More extreme fetishes are even sometimes hard to get for the inveterate kinkster. Especially if you look at the scat fetish, many wonder where in this game of shit possibly could be the horniness factor. Pain and humiliation too, things that are associated overwhelmingly negatively in society, can not possibly bring forth positive feelings. Yet they can! But not for everyone. For some connoisseurs real caviar is a delicacy and pure luxury while many just see it as fishy, salty, glibbery and gross balls. Tastes are different!
there are fetishes, which are very easy to misunderstand from outside perspectives.
And then there are fetishes, which are very easy to misunderstand from outside perspectives. No, age players are not undiagnosed pedophiles, pet players are not zoophiles in disgues and femboys are not transsexuals. This things all have been heard and it could go on sadly. No, even if some of you like to play human dog and others like to take said one, it is not indication that these guys go into a farmers stable in the evening and then play with animals jewels. It’s a roleplay, which has no connection with the actual sex with animals. This may be naturally logical to us, because we have insight in this world. But for third parties it may not be.
Of course there are exceptions, and black sheep. These are to judge, convict and condemn, but they are all of us, not the majority, and it would be stupid to generalize because of the actions of a few. Sex isn’t inherently something bad just because there are some criminals who don’t seem to know the word consent and rape.
As already mentioned, the living out of fetishes must be based and built on consent. If that is given and you neither harm yourself, your partner or third parties, then there is nothing against this lived fetish that is wrong, even if it seems “sick” to others. Because we are not involved in it, it is their private thing and does not concern us. And yes, it needs to and must be true and genuine consent! A six year old child does not want to be fucked by his fifty year old uncle. He certainly has not act tantializing and invited the uncle to the deed and no, even if the cow or horse holds still and does not run away, it does not want to be fucked by you!
There are not many solid rules in the world of kink but this one above is a must. And else we are free to live as we like, what us and our play partners like and it is not on us to judge about the fetishes of others. We don’t want to be judged for our own little perversions either. To live fetish is hot, fun and enriches our sexuality and lifestyle and as long as nobody genuinely and in any negative way suffers from it (and no, I don’t mean the masochists now, that’s positive suffering) there is nothing to talk about. Depending on the case, it even pays to try and be open for new stuff that comes into your world, because from my long years of experience I’ve learned that some things which have been a total no-go in the beginning, have suddenly become hot, even if others stayed as a no-go… you never know how you develop over time. So don’t judge others by his fetishes, because tomorrow you may be the little pervert you used to judge yesterday yourself.
There is a current reason for this article. Race-play also belongs to the fetishes which are very difficult to understand and comprehend. If you do not really dwelve into the subject and the individuals involved, it is very easy to just see rassistic ****shit from the surface. And clearly, real racism is is absolutely repugnant, appaling and to condemn.
During the last days on twitter you could see a post by Master Ferdok which I could not approve of. I know Master Ferdok for many years now, and know that he is not a racist, even if some texts, especially if you take them without context, can sound like that.
Race-Play as Ferdok lives it, is a role playing game. There, Masters and slaves who are into it, willingly and voluntarily with consent, like to pimp up their game of status differenciation with rassistic wording and other acts. Yes, that is for many of you surely absolutely distasteful. But as said, as long as these things happen with voluntarily and consentual partners, which do get happiness out of it and don’t harm others in their private play, it is not for us to judge.
Ferdok’s tweet, which in twitters common short format and without explanating context can truly easily be viewed as rassistic, rang our alarm bells. Ferdok does acknowledge that he did not think enough when publishing this tweet, and does want to apologize for it. It was truly not his intention to hurt any third parties feelings, and understands that this tweet could be seen as rassistic, even if it was not his intention. I believe him.
Furthermore I want to point out that sadOsam does not have any influence what column writers post on their social media channels, and we don’t monitor them. Nevertheless we from sadOsam decided to put Ferdoks column texts offline for the time being, and go through them all to then decide if, and if so, which texts we make open to the public again.
