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The Fetish Emancipation of Femboys, Sissies and Lingerie Lovers

If you surf around on kinky social media today, then you sure as hell will stumble upon cute teens and twinks dressed up as femboys and sissies in distinct poses. They wear their feminine undearwear, and they do it openly and show it proud and horny. Which shows quite a change in the selfconfidence and publicity of enthusiasts of feminine clothing and attitude.

For a long time this special fetish was laughed upon and wasn’t really accepted by the big leather-dominated fetish world. Feminized underwear was one of these kinks you only lived out in hiding. The often stolen from your mother or sister underwear were only worn secretly and when sure you were alone. Boys who liked to play and tantialize with their feminine side where shunned as fags, fairies and other things, and defined as only half a man or even person, and banned from the “real” man circles. Furthermore, they related that fetish to bisexuals, who didn’t really had a good standing in the world of the gays.

But times change. No matter if you find the feminine hot or not, it is definitely great to see that this fetish gets drawn more out into the open and the acceptance for it in the comminity is growing. Because why should it be hot to wear leather and rubber, walk around like a chav or on all fours like a dog, be a masochistic pig, but at the same time lingerie and feminized underwear be stupid and silly. There is just no reason! Like with every fetish it is just that you either like it or not. But judgement and valuation are wrong in this place, because we don’t want to be judged by our fetishes. But enough of that. Let’s talk about the fetish itself. Where do people see the appeal in living and showing a their feminine side? Well, according to our interviewees, there are several reasons.

SubboyJJ: I like the feminine look because it makes me feel like a submissive, sexy and slutty bottom who is ready to take orders and to get fucked by real men.

F0reverUndeAd: It’s different. It’s a break from the typical gender norms and about showing that gender is only a construct we’ve created based on how each sex should be viewed. Sure, I could post pictures of me wearing briefs and trunks, do the typical “twink” poses, and call it a day, but it makes my content more lively.

Visser: I do not see things in terms of feminine and masculine, I simply enjoy appearing a certain way. I do believe though that what society calls ‘feminine’ tends to be much more creative and beautiful and I enjoy being a part of it.

Vixen: I was born with a strong feminine side. Wearing makeup and girly clothes enables me to be my true self! I like the contrast of looking like a boy but being obviously fem! I really enjoy making men horny and woman jealous! But it’s really just who i am.

Those are interesting aspects the three boys mention. But there are also the masculine lingerie (alluring female underwear ) lovers, as I got corrected immediately, when I asked Sissybloke the same question as above:

Sissybloke: I  do not see it as a “feminine side”, that is the problem of society. Society sees lingerie as ONLY accepted in the female domain. i see lingerie as garments that DO NOT need to be tied to the female domain and should be accepted to cross gender boundaries and sterotypes. i do not “live the feminine side” when i wear lingerie, i live my natural , very masculine being and carry on presenting that. i just happen to be doing that whilst wearing lingerie at the same time.  

Naturally I quickly rephrased my question and asked him for his reasons for wearing female underwear and why he likes it:

Sissybloke: Trying on my first pair of nylon stockings as a boy at the age of 10 was an epiphany. Firstly , there was the feel of the nylon on my legs. The feel is indescribable , it is so sensuous and stimilating. Next came the visiual, seeing my ass framed by the suspenders (garters) that are needed to support the stockings focused the visual on my exposed ass. Stockings and suspenders are actually an inpracticle garment , the majority of females prefer tights (pantyhose) these days for ease of use. Stockings and suspenders are generally seen these days as a tool to evoke lust in the male species. They find the sight iresistable and sexy. Women mostly use stockings and supenders as a special treat to spice up their sex life for the benefit men. So , i also realised that my ass , framed in stockings and suspenders would be a sexual stimulant to some Alpha males. So , for me , stockings and suspenders are about three things , the feel , the look and their power in exciting males who may wish to use me.  

One may notices from my way of asking that this is not one of my fetishes. This may partially  has been intensified for that during my first steps into the fetish world, the most one came in contact with this fetish was with generally old, mostly overweight men showing themselves  wearing suspenders in horrible, unfitting poses they deemed to be sexy and hitting on you. Not really people on my radar as a 20 year young guy, and not a view I was really into either. Young, hot femboys who wear it more naturally and got the body and do it with style weren’t something you really came across at those times. I believe there the internet, which gives safe access to parts of ones 4 walls you wanna show, and anonymous shopping made a lot possible in those aspects, and making  these boys visible.

At that time, only just realizing I liked kink, I also had an inner fight with myself, trying to coming to terms with and accepting my own „pervertness“. There those suspender guys weren’t really a help, more irritating me and my young, yet to become more understanding mind. But today I have to admit that with submissive guys i kinda like it when the have a small feminine touch… not in their clothing but in how they act… slightly feminine, not full womanly 😉 

Do I discover a relapse into old role models of man and woman by myself? Already I feel irritated by myself, because how often did the classic question heterosexual friends and collegues ask, “Who in your relationship is the man and who the female then?”, het me up? Urgh. My standard answer is always: „ This question is kinda like if you’d ask an asian which of the sticks is the fork and which the spoon.”

Sure, there is one more way to use female underwear, not out of lust of feminity, but as an instrument of humiliation, in which too a high degree of horniness can lie. There we are more in my world again, this humiliation factor can be a big attraction for sm guys who aren’t really into feminine itself. But where does the humiliation feeling of lingerie lie? Let’s ask Doofer and Salisbury_subguy.

Doofer: I mean humiliation is 100% linked to submission so it fits my role pretty well. I definitely have a link to school days and being teased for wearing pink or hanging out with girls or painting my nails. We used to play games where the loser would have to wear a skirt or makeup and I definitely remember losing on purpose It also fits into the slutty aspect, short skirts and panties and being locked in chastity so you’re ‘forced’ to be a bottom and your ass is on show. Which is doubly fun with the contrast of a room of guys dressed normally. I think there’s definitely an aspect of needing to be seen or teased, wearing pink revealing clothes is fun on my own but not as fun as when someone else sees it. Especially if I’m ‘egged on’ or are encouraged to wear them even if I (pretend I :P) I don’t want to.

Salisbury_subguy: It’s a taboo/kinky thing to do and goes against what is generally regarded as the ‘norm’……even though it seems to be becoming more popular now… It also helps make my mindset be submissive so that I’m pleasing the one who is making me wear the lingerie/heels etc. and arousing them

Hehe there I almost doubt that those two only wear that for humiliation purposes from what they say, or what do you guys think?

As you probably know, abbreviations or technical terminologies are not only quite common in the military, but also found in the fetish world. They mostly sounds like strange greek or double-dutch for outsiders (which is convenient when talking kinky stuff in more open places) But there is one rule I want to mention before going further into this topic, one I find proves itself true: “The fetish world does not know standards but the consent of the participants!” It’s quite an in important rule, I’m sure you agree, but if you go by it, one that makes the definition of fetish terms everything else but easy. Which is why I asked the people concerned where they see the differences between femboy, sissy, crossdresser and lingerie lovers.


SubboyJJ: Femboys are boys that have feminine qualities.

Vixen: A boy/man with a “feminine” attitude and appearance that bends the genres.

Doofer: A boy who wears more effeminate clothing, but still generally identifies as male

Visser: A feminine looking man/boy.


SubboyJJ: Sissies are boys that want to look lie and act like a slutty girl.

Vixen: A boy who gears up with feminine clothes as part of a fetish session. Sometimes used to humiliate the boy, mostly to fetishize him.

Doofer: Sissy is more of a humiliating term when wearing girls clothing is used to embarrass someone

Visser: A fetish of being the ‘woman’ in a sexual situation (some people who practice it think there is something inherently degrading/submissive about being a woman).

Lingerie Lover

SubboyJJ: Guys who love wearing lingerie without going full fem.

Vixen: A person, male or female, whose kink consists of fetishizing lingerie. They love to wear it, feel the fabric against their skin and sometimes hide it under street clothes.

Doofer: Never heard of it, but I assume it’s someone who enjoys the lingerie aspect rather than the rest of traditionally women’s clothing

Visser: The name says it all, someone who enjoys the feel and look of wearing lingerie.


SubboyJJ: Crossdressers are boys who dress like and attempt to pass as a girl.

Vixen: A man or a woman whose fetish is to dress up as the opposite sex regardless of sexuality. It’s a sort of taboo they live to explore without being actually transgender!

Doofer: A cross dresser would be any gender wearing clothes their gender wouldn’t traditionally wear.

Visser: A man who enjoys wearing feminine clothing/lingerie. May have a female ‘persona’ when they are dressed a certain way, but does not see themselves as a woman.

One probably sees that the definitions are similar, but not really identical. It is after all difficult to bring feelings and experiences into words.

The thing with the role models of man and woman just keeps bugging me right now. I don’t seem to be the only one who internalized those old picturizations. If you look at the needs and wishes of many of those boys who live out their feminine side they seem to be even more domiciled in that archaic patriarchal era than my remark before.

Let’s start with my exception before: If you go to the crossdressers, you can meet a lot of divas, who bristle with self-confidence. But as crossdresser define themselves less over the sexual and you cannot really describe them as a fetish category, we can disregard them for  this in this article.

In all the other before mentioned categories (besides the masculine lingerie lovers, and with exceptions as the rule, of course), the „feminine“ they try to portray in all cases mostly is neither confident or successful but – to the horror of all feminists – like a bitch, willing, compliant, there to serve the „real“ males and look for their satisfaction and fulfillment. Spreading ist legs on order at all times, getting it rough and punished if they make mistakes. A little like the arabian women role, just without burka, because then you wouldn’t be able to see the great getup they have. ?

It’s a little like a sort of an anti-emanticipation of the gender roles, but at least the fetish empancipates, even if the acceptance of the other fetishes to the lovers of feminine wear still has adequate room for improvement. How does Sissybloke say so well:

Sissybloke: We need to reach a level within the gay community , where a guy in ANY gay fetish/leather.rubber/bdsm/fist club, bar or venue in the entire World can feel free to rock up in lingerie and be welcomed and accepted as just another guy.

Featured in this article

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1989 | 183 cm |70 kg

1988 | 188 cm | 66 kg
Interview with SubboyJJ
19xx | 172 cm | 48 kg
Interview with Visser
1993 | 177 cm | 67 kg
1995 | 173 cm | 44 kg
Interview with F0reverUnde4d
1973 | 179 cm | 72 kg
Interview with Sissybloke
Hey, if you're cruising on KINKFINITY, you probably know I'm the master of this fetish blog. BDSM isn't just sex for me; it's a lifestyle I've embraced for over 25 years. Along the way, I've met some fantastic kinksters—some dropping by my massive 200m2 dungeon for parties, others for days or weeks, and a few as 24/7 long-term slaves. Swing by my Bluesky account for more:

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