Knowledgeables of the kink fauna would classify my interview partner of today as a dog on the first glance. But that first impression can be deceiving. Below the dog mask hides quite the little pain pig, which holds a lot of other kinks as well. Today we travel with you to the north of Germany for a not totally painless talk.
Hi Tao. What makes suffering pain such a turn-on for you?
Hey MasterMarc, that’s a hard question at the beginning. Impact play is some of my newest kinks. But after my first few sessions, i had a feeling of relief and recreation. I can fall down in the situation to be flogged, spanked or other kinds of tortured. The strikes and some Domination, make me feel the Moment and i can only be in this situation. There aren’t any other thoughts in my mind.
Another point is: It’s easier for me, to fall in the “pain pig”-mode than to get in pupspace. Some days, i don’t feel the Pup in me. But on these days, maybe i can reach the subspace for impact play. Impact play allows me, to escape the day in a new, painful but exciting way.
That sounds like escapism ….
Of course, it is. Many things we do are forms of escapism. When i watch a movie, i can do this, to enjoy the artist, the story and so on. But also it is a form not to be alone with your mind – escapism. And on some days, i enjoy this way more than a good movie.
But it’s not only the escape-thing of kink. It’s also to feel bounded in the situation with my partner or the Dom. Impact play isn’t a thing, i can start in the first meet up. For me its also a very intimate Situation. I’m bounded. Maybe blindfolded. But most importantly, I’m very vulnerable.
Why should it be bad if i feel good with it?
To be vulnerable and delivered and to feel pain are sensations and feelings which our society evaluate as negative. Could you tell us, why you see it as something positive and desirable?
I had thought about this a lot of time, after i discovered my interest in this play style. In my “other” life, i see me as a Buddhist so hurt someone isn’t good or makes “bad carma” (in short).
But i see this also as a good and reachable goal, because i feel happiness through the pain. Why should it be bad if i feel good with it? And someone who hurt me in a session do this for him and for me. It’s a form of sharing a passion. I don’t see any “bad” background behind the Doms deeds.
You mentioned a very important point: The motivation behind the action. A good Dom does it always because he knows that the boy needs and wants that treatment. He does it out of a positive motivation. Do you remember when you felt for the first time that pain is something which is good for you?
Oh yes, i remember this special moment. I was at a local Dom’s place, and he starts to choke, hit and spank me. We hadn’t talked about this, before we started. But after the first shocking moment like “What was that?”, the energy goes right through my body. I was between “please, stop” and “go on harder”. But i can’t speak, because i already have known: When i speak without permission, he will be merciless and there were no end. So after a few seconds i was able to fall in this situation and learned: pain is good for me. When the first shocks are done, i can reach a “high” better than poppers or alcohol.
After this, i had read a lot about pain and impact play. And i bought my own first paddle.
But, one thing i have to say: The Dom has done things to me in this session, they never were part of any conversation before. It was a stroke of luck, that i liked it.
You’ve told us that you have read a lot about the topic. What was for you the conclusion out of all the information you have consumed?
All i remember is, there are different views on impact play or sadomasochism. Psychological, philosophical, Neuroscience, Social… The most impressive thing i’ve heard, years before i discovered my interest in pain, was that our brain can release special hormones when we receive pain. This reaction is part of dealing with it. But it’s part of the reason why it felt so good. And our body owns a memory for pain. If we have to deal with pain regularly, we have to receive more impact for the same feeling. This is part of the fascination impact play for me. Another view is, that it can be part of self punishment. Obviously. But as an important thing in this view: The sub turns the Dom into his instrument of punishment. It’s highly necessary, both are fine with it. Otherwise, the play can have some bad side effects. To read all this felt good, because i also learned, I’m not alone with this. There is a big community, who’s into it. And to know if it’s done “right” there are no long-term harm for me or the Dom, eliminates my doubt.
You’ve mentioned that there is a need of increase to still feel the same satisfaction. Now you’ve to tell us, what your next steps in your development as pain pig has been.
I plan to go step by step in my own speed. My next path will hopefully bring me an experienced Dom, who can show me, how hard play also can feel. But i don’t want to force it. He will show up, when there is time for this. More i plan to discover other kinds of pain like ice, heat, crop and maybe whip. I hope to get some impressions and instruments on Darklands 2022. But mainly: I only want to enjoy.
To have the one paste is important but tell us about the other impact play experiences you’ve had yet, so that we can see your improvements.
An other very hot moment was: my partner fixed my ankle on metal chains and spread them with our metal bar. He attached my hands, a bit like a hogtie, and then he starts spanking my ass very hard. His goal was, to see his hand on my skin. He reached this. But it was (nicely) painful for me. After this, he took out our flogger and gave me his full energy. Stroke by stroke. Sometimes he was a bit harder, in the next moment, he was soft and pet my bag with flogger. The changes between the extrema were a total mindfuck. And every switch gave me an extra shock. For his first time, he pushed me very good.
The other situations were some like this. Sometimes more paddle (ouch!) sometimes more Flogger or riding crop (yeah!). I really enjoy, to be blindfolded and tied up with very less space to move.
I know you’re also into chastity. Out of my experience, boys in chastity can take more. Have you ever noticed if you feel a difference if you’re in chastity or not?
Oh nice, i didn’t recognize it, but It’s good to know! When i think about it, i had impact play only when i wasin chastity and with no orgasm at the end. So, yes, maybe i’m more into it, when i’m caged.
Let’s talk a little about your dirty side. What is for you the attraction of watersports?
That strongly depends on the giving-part. I often enjoy being at the receiving end. Giving i only can for special partner. In some sessions, i really enjoy the aspect of degregation. Just be the urinal, an object and have to take every drop, especially, when spill is prohibited and will be hard punished the circle will close. But i also love sometimes how it smell, taste or feel. When a warm golden shower rushes in my face and rinse down my body. It can be an good extension. When im between two sessions and the partner have to pee, i like to sit down in the shower and take it. And maybe the next session will start at this moment. Or he will pissfuck me.
How important is humiliation for you? Do you like to feel inferior?
It’s not a daily preference for me. But i would say, it can be an important part on a few days. Somedays, i feel inferior, but not in a psychological harmed way. On this days i think i have to stay in the chastity cage forever, because my dick and my cumload are not big enough to compare with “real” men. I only can be used as a pig, object or something other.
Is that just a sexual need, or do you like to serve your Master also in a non-sexual way as long as you are with him?
It depends on the Master and day. When im in Chastity Cage for more then a half or one month, i’m also in the non-sexual service part. Im at this point acutally. When my partner tells my i have to do things in the right tone and with a bit pressure, i want to follow his order. And i think, this can be also with other person, but i haven’t tried it yet.
You’ve told me that you’re looking for a Master. What type of Dom are you looking for and what should be the goal of such a slavery?
I hope to find a dom with a bit experience and whos interested in impact play, chastity, D/s or slavery and/or watersports. In the last few days, i have contact to a very interesting person who maybe fit in and i will meet on saturday for the first time. But a Master or Dom whos “good” for me is respectfully and accept my partnership. BDSM is an important part, but when i have to choose, i’ll take my partner. No question. This is the most important thing for me.
When it comes to a slavery, i want to discover myself and my needs. I cannot say, what special goal i have. I maybe find something, i really like. But dont know it to this point.
Last but not least, you’ve to tell us about your most extreme impact play fantasy you have.
Ok, this will be fun! I hope one day to get tied up on a fuck bench or wall bars on an event or a party. Blindfolded, naked. And with no time of end. Then, everyone can come and play with me. Flog or whip all out of me. And the only thing i’m allowed to say is thank you or to count when it’s ordered.
It seems like an easy fantasy, but I’m not into events or public sexual action. So this fantasy has a very own worth for me. It shows, how i want to develop. In a kinky and non-kinky way.