Hôka is a lot of things. His profile says locked twink switch, gear head, gimp/drone, femboy/sissy, dom/master, slave, pup, baby, shibari rigger, scally, extreme sadist/masochist. And he is probably still more. Most of all, experimental, and with an open mind. Today we’re gonna talk about a few of these things with him.

Hello dear readers, I’m here with french pup Hôka. How are you doing?

Say Hôka, you got an even longer open kink interest list than me. And mine is quite long I’d say XD So I won’t ask you what you are all into.

But I’d love to hear the story on how you managed to get to that. Were you always interested and drawn to the fetish world?

Hey hey! I’m doing well thanks.

The answer to how I got to this list is a mix of the following:

Understanding myself and my needs before being involved into fetish, thinking about what I tried and liked as well as what I want to try.

All of that along with a habit to take notes about everything I think of, and finally being VERY experimental and open-minded.

I was always interested in it. Since I’m 12 I would say (I’m now 22). But I have really been doing fetish for really just 1 year with a pup I met on Grindr and introduced me to a part of the French community and I made my way up!

Hehe once you opened the flood gates huh? 😉

Well, one of the first things that jumps at one when he looks up your profiles is Shibari. You got some very hot pics that display your skills.

Now, you told me before we started that there is a difference between shibari and rope bondage 😉 Could you tell us more about that by any chance? Where do you see those differences in practice/experience and style/aesthetics?

Ahah, it’s exactly that!

Thank you so much about the compliment and the opportunity to talk about the difference!

Let me say first that I don’t separate these 2 terms out of elitism, I like both of them equally and I do both. However I make the difference because the feeling and the goal are completely different most of the time.

Shibari 縛り (or kinbaku 緊縛) comes with an history, various (safe) methods, school of thoughts and so on. But looking at a picture you can’t know if the person is doing shibari or rope bondage. For me, shibari is about how you get to the stance you see on the photo. If you get there by connecting with your bunny (the person being tied) emotionally and physically and trying to get your bunny to live a total new experience through ropes, you are doing shibari. Obviously you can use other equipment than rope but it’s not necessary.

Furthermore, shibari doesn’t have to be sexual, it can be sexual but for me I enjoy this aspect a lot since I’m on the spectrum of asexuality. In addition to that, shibari can be played with in so many ways!! It can be aesthetic, sensual, masochistic/sadistic, relaxing, torturing, psychological, therapeutic, emotional, humiliation, predicament or all of that together along with being very safe and effective (and also cheap 🤣).

Rope bondage is more about getting restricted as much as possible, no matter how you achieve it. It is not really about the feeling of the rope nor how you get there, but more about what’s going to happen after you’ve been tied up.

And to be honest… I like to be tied up no matter what 🤣, it’s just a different type of goal and feeling! The aesthetic can be the same, the methods too ; but the goal and feeling are not the same, from my experience as a bunny/sub and rigger/dom 😁.

When I talk with others about shibari, they mostly say they find cool but never try it due to the seemingly complicated looking learning curve barrier and long duration to set up. Basically “too much effort” xD

How was your learning experience in that? Where do you find the rewards/worth to go through the effort?

My learning experience was enjoyable! 😁 And I didn’t even struggle to progress if I’m being honest. I’m only starting to struggle now for the simple reason that the things I need to work on can be improved only by practicing over time. But still, I’m a quick learner and was always fascinated by that. Furthermore it’s cheap and has a lot of aspects, and it’s my way to stand out of the crowd in the gay scene 😌 all of that helped a lot!

To be fair the start isn’t even hard, you just have to practice the basic techniques and methods that are used in 95% of the ties (which is what you need for bondage). The hardest things to get right is the shibari part I mentioned above, so:

  • how to move,
  • how to connect with the person,
  • how to be more fluent with ropes,
  • how to safely do it,
  • how to adapt it to every person,
  • and of course suspension.

This latter is very hard to get right if you want it to be safe, for the simple reason that it is very challenging for the bunnies and the risk of injuries are very high! But to reassure everyone even masters of shibari that have been doing shibari for 25 years say they still learn everyday, and so do I 😇

I find rewards into giving pleasure to someone, giving them the opportunity to experience something different, but it’s also a quick “activity” to connect with someone physically and emotionally. As for me, doing that helps me to challenge myself, and I’m proud of every session. Like painters and artists would be proud of their paintings or pictures.

Just in my case the paintings are mostly the girl/guy I tie.

Or even just the efficiency of doing bondage fast and safely as a dom, it always surprises my subs how challenging our session can be 😏

Taking it as a fun challenge is always a good mindset in such time-taking experiences. Although when you’re the sub being tied up, it’s still better not to try too hard and be safe.

You’ve also got some other kinks on your profiles which others tend to shy away from. Knife play for example. What’s the allure/attraction there? The danger? And if you’ve ever gotten to try, how do you tend (or in case not, wish) to practice/experience it?

Yeah I think everyone should have the basics of shibari (which take into account some basics of anatomy). It helps to tie safely and not having someone to pass out 🙈

The attraction is the fear you can have of it. It’s not about how much injuries or pain you can inflict with the knife, but how fearful or helpless the sub will feel. I always play with the tip and an unsharpened knife to avoid any injuries. I test it on my skin first, then on the person while they are untied and finally when they are tightly tied. First in non-sensitive zone then onto more sensitive parts (i.e. neck, stomach, crotch).

Having someone tied very tightly help to not have any type of sudden movement (spams) that could be very dangerous. So the safe shibari ties help a lot in having someone completely immobilized 😈

So it’s mostly about the emotion? That lets me presume you’re less about the fetishes themselves though, and more about the Domination/submission experience itself?

Both emotions and the fetish itself for most of my fetishes. With the only exception of knife play where I don’t have a particular fetish on knives, but like you said it’s about the emotion and dynamic it produces.

What are some kinky things you haven’t done and you wish you could try out in the future?

Mmmh… Hard to say… I have played too many times as a dom and now really want to discover my sub side more. It is every switch’s curse to mostly dominate I guess, but I’m willing to change this!

I definitely want to push my limits as a sub. So I’m still trying to see if I can do a multiple days kidnapping/prisoner/slave scenario, that’d would be a dream 😁

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