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Dom Top or Sub Bottom? – An Outdated Binary

The fetish world is not black and white, despite what some more traditional kinksters may suggest. There more than just dom-tops and sub-bottoms. Kink—much like sexuality—is on a spectrum, and many people fall between the extremes. Today I’m talking to Pup Blade, a 22-year-old kinkster from Washington, D.C. He started out as a sub bottom and really enjoys that side of kink, but he has recently begun exploring his dominant side as well. Nowadays, he calls himself a switch, and while he enjoys topping and bottoming, domming and subbing, he has been exploring the uncommon territory of being a dominant bottom. Let’s dive deeper into this gray area and all of its shadows.

After I spent a few years subbing I started to learn what made a good dom, and I started easing into that role slowly

Hi Blade. Let’s make it short. Tell me that you are a real sub and that you want to serve and to be used, and we can start playing instead of talking about Doms, bottoms etc. :)) What do you think about my idea? Or probably we should talk and afterwards there will be many other possibilities if we pick up some other cute kinkster ….

I have to admit, that’s a tempting offer! But I’ve been looking forward to this conversation too much to let my inner sub get the best of me. Let’s chat first and see where things go.

Hehe …. OK …. Tell us, what have been your first steps into the kinky world?

I think my story is similar to many others. I knew from a young age that I had different, more extreme interests. Tumblr was my first exposure to kink, and of course, puppy play, but it wasn’t until college that I started experimenting with actual scenes. Once I graduated college and moved to Washington, I started building relationships outside of the bedroom (or dungeon) with my scene partners that allowed to me really dig into kink and feel comfortable exploring and pushing my own limits. Practicing responsible kink with friends instead of strangers from Recon played a huge role in my kink journey.

Common boy, don’t be shy, what are “more extreme interests” for you?

Haha fine have it your way. I was always fascinated by kidnapping, bondage, getting drugged (which I’ve found a safer, less intense outlet with poppers), brainwashing, and hypnosis. As a kid, I couldn’t put my finger on why watching brainwashing in cartoons excited me so much, but now that I’m older it makes perfect sense!

We know each other’s stories, backgrounds, histories, and fantasies and it helps us explore our kinks on a much deeper level

Oh that sounds first really my way and second you ARE a sub. So lets stop the interview now and start playing …. 🙂

Haha we’re not done yet!!

Ok … ok … Good sm is build on trust and that needs time. So I totally understand that you love to play with people you know. Can you explain us how the character and quality of the action have changed by playing with friends?

Sure, when you play with strangers, there’s certain unknowns you have to anticipate. It’s definitely dangerous to not at least talk beforehand, and no good dom will ever lay a hand on you before you’ve had a lengthy conversation in person. Even if it’s someone you feel you know well enough to play with, there’s still variables you may not have accounted for, such as how intense they want to get or a kink of theirs you may not share. When I moved to DC, I met my best friend and puppy brother Pup Wilde (@PupWilde on Twitter). We started playing together regularly and also spending lots of time together outside of kink/sex. We know each other’s stories, backgrounds, histories, and fantasies and it helps us explore our kinks on a much deeper level. Not to mention, I am 100% confident he would never hurt me and I’d never hurt him. I have a whole gaggle of friends that I go out with, get dinner with, and also play with, and I know whenever the ropes come out it’s all about fun and safety.

Now you’ve told us, how to meet kinky friends has changed your private life but not how it has changed your sexual life. 🙂

It’s made my sex life extraordinarily better. I have friends that know exactly how my body ticks. They know when I’m uncomfortable versus when I need out of a scene. They know when something just feels good and when it’s getting me close. They know exactly how many hits of poppers I can take, how long I can go without air, etc. Most of all, they know exactly how to make me squirm and beg. This all goes for me relative to them, too haha.

My original fascination with kink was the idea of letting go of control and putting someone else in charge

Uff boy, we are not in the bible class … wtf are you into? ;))

I don’t have a fixed list of interests! My main kink is exploration. I’ve had experience with bondage, S&M, water sports, breath play, extended bondage/edging, forced milking scenes, wax play, suspension bondage, e-stim, spanking, CBT, flogging, (attempted) fisting, and so many others! Some of which I enjoyed, others I’m in no rush to try again. I’d say my main kinks are restrictive bondage and a nice long edging, but I’ve always considered edging to be the “low-hanging fruit” of kink haha. I enjoy being punished and punishing others. One of my more “controversial” kinks is punishment via ruined orgasm after a boy has been edged for hours. There’s something so simple, yet so evil about it. Plus, you don’t have to worry about hurting your sub. As a dom, I’ve also gotten really into edging boys with my ass. There’s something both satisfying and creative about taking alpha tops and using what they see as their “strength” against them.

Why have you started your kinky life as sub? Have there been any reasons?

I started as a sub because, well, it’s easier that way. My original fascination with kink was the idea of letting go of control and putting someone else in charge. When you’re inexperienced and new, taking control over someone else is dangerous. After I spent a few years subbing I started to learn what made a good dom, and I started easing into that role slowly. It turned me on more than I thought and now I can stay hard while domming someone else for an entire scene just on the power exchange.

Do you prefer to dom or to sub nowadays? And what is the attraction of being dom?

Interesting question, I sort of fluctuate. Sometimes I’m in a really dominant mood, other times I just need to be tied up. It also depends a lot on my partner. I typically like to dom guys around my age or younger, and but I’ll sub for a person based on how much experience they have.

For me the big difference between a dom and a real Master is, that the Master has the need to take also the full responsability for a boy. How do you see that and would you call yourself a dom or a Master and what are for you the differences between the two roles.

For me, I’m not really looking to take on a “Master” role, or even really an Alpha, which is a similar title for the pup community. I love my scenes to stay in the bedroom and I don’t want my kink dynamics to affect the incredible friendships I’ve built with people through kinky sex. I’ve seen so many people ruin relationships through master/slave, alpha/beta, collaring, etc. that I’d rather keep kink about fun and not about protocol. I know that’s an unpopular opinion, but it’s just how I’m doing things right now as a 22 year old new to the scene. I think there’s definitely healthy versions of those relationships, but there’s a certain risk you have to accept.

You should see how thirsty some tops get when they think they’re going to get to unload in a bottom’s ass, but it’s the bottom that keeps them denied

You call yourself a dom Bottom. Can you tell us, what that means exactly for you?

Haha of course! As a switch, I dom other guys about 50% of the time. I top guys too, but I don’t think that the two need to go hand in hand! I love getting a “totes masc dom top” strapped to my bed and riding them, but not letting them cum for hours. It’s just my take on being dominant, while also using my strengths. You should see how thirsty some tops get when they think they’re going to get to unload in a bottom’s ass, but it’s the bottom that keeps them denied. There’s nothing hotter!

So it means that you love to change the rules of the game while you get dominated and to start a bottom’s powerplay?

Exactly! There’s no reason bottoming should be tied to submitting. I want to empower myself through every part of my sexuality, which means mix matching my kinks and pushing boundaries. It’s so hot seeing a top’s confusion when I get on top of them and they realize they’re not in control. It’s a first for a lot of tops.

And how do they react?

When I get them close and then pull off them, it’s almost 100% of the time they end up helplessly humping the air wondering what happened.

What do you love to do in such moments? How do you surprise the top and how do you take advantage of the situation?

I usually start by getting them close by tradition edging, using my hand, a fleshlight, Venus pump, magic wand, etc. and then once they’re desperate, I take my seat on their dick. They always almost assume it’s because I’m ready to let them cum and I want their load, but they’re always shocked when the edging continues.

Oh, you teak a seat on their dick ….. so do you never fuck as top?

I wouldn’t say never. Right now it’s not my preference, but I do expect that will change in the future.

Why do you think that it will change in the future?

My kinks and interests are always expanding and changing, so I think it would be naive of me to say I’ll be a bottom forever. I’ve topped in the past and enjoyed it, so I plan on doing more of it. Bottoms can slide into my DM’s too!

As introductioin I’ve written that the kinkster world isn’t black and white. There are many grey shades inbetween and don’t forget about the colors. What would you advise to a young boy who is feeling that his needs and desires don’t fit into the stereotypes many newbies have at the beginning?

The advice I’d give is this. Don’t call someone Sir before they tell you their name. Don’t confuse rough tops with Dom tops. Always discuss your interests in a scene 24 hours in advance to make sure it’s your brain talking, not your dick. And most importantly, don’t let anyone tell you what you are or what your kink experience should look like. Listen to yourself and enjoy the experiences you have for what they are, and don’t worry about fitting in one box or another. It’s always okay to explore.

Pup Blade

United States

Hey, if you're cruising on KINKFINITY, you probably know I'm the master of this fetish blog. BDSM isn't just sex for me; it's a lifestyle I've embraced for over 25 years. Along the way, I've met some fantastic kinksters—some dropping by my massive 200m2 dungeon for parties, others for days or weeks, and a few as 24/7 long-term slaves. Swing by my Bluesky account for more:

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