KINKFINITY

A talk with Bob, a real expert for Taping-Bondage & Depravation, about SM and how it should and shouldn’t be.

MasterMarc: Hi Bob. To immobilize boys is your passion. You are famous for your taping and mummification sessions. Can you tell us, why mummified and taped guys are such a turn-on for you?

Bob: Famous? Ha! I prefer infamous: it has a better ring to it. chuckles

Okay seriously, I guess there are several answers here. I like scenes where guys become truly helpless and completely unable to move… unable to see, unable to talk, even unable to hear. We’re talking about very real control here – real power exchange — through 100% immobility. Not role play. Absolute physical control.

Second, I like creating hell that increases over time. To me, there is nothing hotter than seeing someone slowly lose their humanity while tape creeps up their legs, their arms, their torso, and eventually their head. It’s what I call the Quicksand Effect: watching a body as gets covered, one body part at a time.

Tape is perfect for that. You can smother a body one bit at a time. You can encase the sub’s hands. You can take away their lip and jaw movement. You can blindfold them, then wrap their head up completely. You can tighten the tape around the torso and make it hard for them to suck air into their lungs. And better still, you can keep adding layers, slowly… or forcefully and rapidly… your choice, to fuck with their brain. You can even pee on a sub and then wrap them up, sealing them in and marinating them like a steak before it goes on a grill.

And that ripping noise when the tape comes off the roll? It’s scary, especially when the sub keeps hearing it long after they expected it to stop.

So bottom line: taping is a long, drawn-out mind-fuck that takes time to play out. It’s how I make love: trapping a sub and dehumanizing them, inch by inch, bit by bit… slowly creating hell and crushing their spirit along the way.

It’s very different and much more satisfying than a sleepsack, straight-jacket, or mitts and hoods, where most of the bondage happens quickly, up front.

There’s one more thing: I really, really like taping guys to furniture, to make sure they are rigid and completely powerless to stop me when I torment them afterwards.

MasterMarc: It seems that you’re a natural born sadist. Can you explain us, what kind of feelings the dehumanisation and the deprivation of a boy is giving you?

Bob: Actually, I’m a natural born masochist. I remember my first really strong sexual feeling. I was 5 or 6 and got my hands on a comic book that featured Superman, strapped to a table, tortured to death by a beam of kryptonite. And my first semi-erection? I was reading comic book that had pictures of Superboy being tortured by a spandex-clad Kyptonite Kid.

So for as long as I can remember, I wanted to be treated that way. I wanted to be weak and trapped, begging and crying, totally at the mercy of a bully. I got that chance when I turned 16. It was wonderful and awful at the same time. But that’s another story.

In any case, I can and frequently do flip the tables. In fact, when I top, the best sexual encounters I have ever had have come when I play fully with my reptilian brain, doing to others exactly what I want done to me. Sure, I prefer having a bully torment and crush ME, but when I top I like to become the bully I crave… and slowly — very slowly — destroy someone else. It makes me hard when someone shakes and whimpers when I tape them down. I feel a thrill, a rush of adrenalin, and a surge of power when I play on the edge of consent.

As to what’s going on in my head when this happens? Just one thought: “Holy fuck, I cannot believe I am doing this to another human being. This is amazing. I want to see them suffer.” If I’m not in a rush, I step back and look, double-checking to make sure my playmate is totally helpless and unable to stop me. And then I think carefully about just how sick and depraved I can make it without breaking trust and limits.

Take enemas, for example. Forced enemas. Not the kind where someone wants them. The kind where someone is fully immobilized and unable to stop whatever happens next.

Forced enemas are uncomfortable and dirty, not a pleasant experience. But they are not about scat. They are about power exchange. The act of having someone shove a tube up your ass, hover over you, breathe on you, prod you, poke you, pinch you, spit on you, slap you, haze you, and completely control your bowels – that’s humiliation. Having someone invade your deeply private, very personal space while you are voiding – that’s a violation. Having someone wipe your ass and call you a faggot while you cannot move a fraction of an inch – that’s degradation. And when I do it repeatedly to someone and they start to shake, it’s taboo and it makes me feel powerful and animalistic, doing sick things that normal guys don’t do to other guys.

Note: I don’t always play this way. Most of the time I’m just a friendly bondage buddy. I edge my playmates, dole out a little pain, piss a bit, but generally treat my playmates as a peer, not an object. But I truly crave total domination and depravity. The walls of the playroom are painted black for a reason: it sets the mood for how I really want to play as a dom: cruelly.

So that’s the story of the playroom. Upstairs, outside of the playroom? Different story. The guys I dominate are no longer faggots once we finish playing. They are great boys and men, wonderful friends, and we laugh and have drinks and eat together afterwards, celebrating what we’ve done downstairs.

Also note: Playing this way, abusing someone who is tightly bound, is risky. It takes skill. I have fun but stay sober, with my left brain always on alert, looking for signs of danger. Before we start I quiz guys on their capabilities and experience. I watch carefully, listen closely, stay within limits, use safe words and safe signals, keep a fast-release safety kit within arms reach, and never do damage.

MasterMarc: You’ve told us, that your first experience has been wonderful and awful at the same time. Can you tell us more about the negative feelings you’ve had and how the sub and even more a good top can avoid them?

Bob: Negative feelings? Sure. There are lots of ways scenes can go wrong — really, really wrong — mentally. And not just for inexperienced subs. The following holds true even for experienced subs like myself. My apologies though: this is a lengthy topic.

First, a lot of subs/masochists fantasize about being kidnapped or trapped… and then tormented or tortured, maybe even 24×7. They are attracted to guys whose body language says I AM A BULLY. In fact, there are a lot of hot pictures on the internet of cocky bastards leering down at the camera, with piss flowing out of their dick or feet about to smash into the camera lens. Being tortured by a cruel bastard makes a great fantasy. But the reality of playing with a true son-of-a-bitch or fag-basher isn’t so nice. Read the following paragraph. It’s true.

When I was 16, I was tied up and tortured by a classmate – a straight high-school jock who wanted to crush me into the ground and destroy me. It wasn’t about sex – he never got hard and neither did I. It was about dominance and abuse. He took pictures, blackmailed me, hurt me, and even used me as his toilet because it made him feel powerful. The experience left me crying each of the 6 or 7 times he did it to me that year. It drove me back into the closet, afraid of sex and ashamed of my attraction to men and bdsm, for 8 full years. Therapy and time healed those wounds. And now I enjoy recreating that experience, but only with someone who does it consentually, not for real. Torment is tempered these days by trust, safewords, and skill… and playtime stops at the boundaries of the dungeon.

Fortunately for people like me, there are very few true fag-bashers lurking on pickup sites (although the number is not zero). And the doms I’ve met are really quite sane, respecting limits, and playing responsibly, using safe words and feedback to limit their actions.

And me, now? I screen out unsafe doms by getting references. No friends or references? No pictures of actual scenes? No safe words? No real name or contact address? Anything else that makes my spider-sense tingle? Then we don’t play. And yes, my spider sense has gone off several times over the past few years.

Yet even with screening, it is easy for to get in over my head and find myself in a situation that goes beyond what I can handle. How?

Let’s talk about impairment and what it does to fuck things up. Three examples:

IMHO, a person’s reaction to drugs can be unpredictable. The first time I did mushrooms, years ago, I had a panic attack. I was convinced my bondage top had turned into a serial killer. I thought he was raping and stabbing me. My dom recognized the problem and helped calm me down. And he diluted the absorbtion of the ‘shrooms with food. But still, the experience scared the shit out of me and I’ve never forgotten it… and never have done mushrooms again.
Maximum Impact. I’ve seen MI (ethyl chloride?) send a playmate’s brain into a spiralling downward loop, creating a short-term panic situation like the one with mushrooms above. Even though the effect lasted only for a few moments, it ended play on a very sour note.
MDMA and similar drugs enhance sensations (and also increase the risk of dehydration). Last year, at a play party, I started taping someone up. Halfway through the process, he started to freak out. I stopped quickly, then learned what caused the problem: drug-induced sensory overload. It happens.

Bottom line: I usually ask first-time playmates if they have done drugs before we play.

Add: it’s also easy to create a negative experience when pain is applied too quickly or severely. And you can trigger panic when breath control is applied without recovery time. In fact, simultaneously applying different types of torture can push a sub over the limit quickly, both physically and mentally. Want to recreate a hot video that combines clamps, clothespins, electro, flogging, and breath control? Expect real screaming followed by a safe word that brings the session to a halt. Prolonged single sensations are fine. One or two things at a time – great! But try too much at once? You can destroy the session AND the possibility of a return visit.

Which leads the topic of trust… or, more precisely, the loss of trust. As a sub, I’ve had situations where I believed that my top was doing something unsafe or damaging. Especially when I’m gagged and blindfolded. I’ve felt sensations that mimicked the feeling of being pierced or branded. I’ve wondered whether a new top was fucking me without a condom. I had more than one top walk out of the room and leave me alone while bound and tape-gagged (dangerous!!!). And I’ve even been convinced that a new type of pain — say clothepins on my neck, ears, lips, and eyebrows — would leave my face black, blue, and swollen the next day. It didn’t, by the way.

The point is that a dom needs to occasionally check in and reassure their sub whenever they try something the sub hasn’t done before. Because if a sub believes the dom has violated their limits or caused damage, the sub will stop trusting the dom and the session will move quickly from hot, challenging, consentual torture to something that feels, at least temporarily, like something more akin to brutality or even rape.

Finally, there’s panic from phobias or past trauma. Two of my playmates will not allow me to encase their head fully. One old boyfriend, unbeknownst to me, had been mugged and choked years earlier — so when I looped a jockstrap tightly around his neck, he thought I was trying to kill him. No amount of aftercare could undo his panic and it ended badly – both the session and the relationship.

So as a result, I am mindful of phobias and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, especially when applying extreme degredation to someone new. While I haven’t run into it myself — and while I now celebrate my own sub time when treated like a worm — I don’t take it for granted that everyone is like me. I use a pre-play questionnaire that asks about experiences, limits, and even whether the sub has ever been raped or been the victim of abuse. Sure, guys may not answer the questions honestly. But at least I minimize the chances that, when turning a person into a bound and worthless faggot, I break a limit of theirs, plow into a phobia, or dredge up some emotionally scarring abuse from the past.

Bottom line? Screening. Pre-play questions. Pacing. Safe words. Aftercare. All good stuff. And don’t forget feedback from the sub afterwards. You can always learn from that.

MasterMarc: You’re totally right with the points you have told us. As I say always, trust is the base of good sm and a real top you can recognize by his love for responsibility. We will continue our talk but last question for today has to be a positive one. What kind of joy and positive sensations are good sm sessions bringing to you?

Bob: Oh the simplest answer is that I’ve met the most amazing people and made really good friends worldwide. And I’ve had the privilege of chatting and playing with a lot of like-minded guys, including one very kinky, adorable pup who has stolen my heart (he knows who he is 🙂 So emotionally I feel satisfied, not lonely like I expected to be after my divorce 4 years ago.

Also, I get to teach mummification and bdsm safetly to others, one on one and in a classroom setting. It’s an extrovertive outlet, one that makes me feel like a showman and a smarter person than I probably am chuckles How cool is that?

But you know what the biggest positive is? I’m bringing my fantasies to life. Seriously. My deepest, darkest, and most private fantasies. The ones I always wanted to do. The ones I started having when I was a kid. The ones that, when I turned 16, drove me into darkness because, while I craved abuse, the reality was too much to handle. Now though? I’m acting out my fantasies regularly and enjoying them with guys who crave the same thing.

Yes, playtime isn’t always crazy and wild. Most of the time it’s just normal, ordinary sex-charged fun. But two times a month, when I’m playing on the edge, I catch myself thinking “holy crap, I can’t believe I’m doing this. This is fucking insane!”

How many people in this world have been connected to a winch, stretched out on a rack, and tortured by two sadistic tops? Or been butt-plugged, taped rigidly to a stake, and electro-tortured for an entire evening? Or been mummified on a toilet, mouth wedged open, and been used as a human toilet by a top who enjoys sick games and misery. A lot of people want to do that, but unfortuately it doesn’t happen often, if at all. Everyone deserves to live out their fantasies.

So you asked about what’s positive. Life is really good. I can’t do this forever, but for right now, life is grand.

It feels good to dom. It’s a treat to bind guys up the playroom. Unfortunately, I can’t play with everyone (it’s just not possible), but I hope everyone who has been here has enjoyed it as well.

It also feels great to sub. While the novelty of my own playroom has worn off for me, being taped never gets old. I still shake in fear (people are surprised when they see that, but it’s true). I struggle when bondage becomes oppressive. And — if the trust is there and the pacing is right — I eventually give up, relax, lean into the pain, and accept my fate as a tortured object and faggot. Because that, for the moment, is what I’ve become.

And when playtime is over? I laugh, whoop, and smile a lot. That says a lot.

If hell is anything like this, then sign me up. I’m ready.

MasterMarc: If both enjoy the action, even if it a hard and demanding session, is the best what can happen. It was great to talk to you. Next time we will talk more about taping. C U soon.